just not the same.

its just not the same anymore…
the silence kills me to my very core
and i shake and i tremble like thunder
i miss you…
screams my heart with such fervor. Continue reading


restless soul



For so long now, I was misunderstood

Stereotyped, they never saw the good

Its not their fault, I never let them see

That somehow, I kept hidden the best in me.

Little did I know I was living a superficial lie

Dozens of earrings and purses cannot satisfy

Different shades of make up to cover my face

From the sadness I didn’t want to trace.

One would think I never really cared at all

Until one day, my world started to crumble

Only then did I realize that diamonds are never enough

It takes so more than that to make someone tough.

The days gone by and it turned to years,

I bought earrings to cover my ears…

I chose to ignore what my heart once said

Be your own person, or you’d rather be dead.

Change is good but leave some for yourself.

It won’t be healthy if you turn out to be someone else

But I chose to deny what my heart was crying out loud

It was deafening but I was just too proud..

We worked so hard to be with each other in the past

I thought nothing can ever come between us…

Little by little, the spark just somehow died

I was wrong not to listen to that nagging voice inside.

Even as I lay right next to you,

we seem so far apart

It wasn’t the same as it was from the start

How lost were we among our own desires;

That we forgot to fuel each other’s fires?

Too late now for the if only’s of the earth

 I cannot dwell on that coz I cannot find its worth

All we had to do was to sit down and have a talk

Or go out the backyard and take a little walk.

I wanted to save every little thing that was left of us

But I am not one to nag…

Although I should’ve asked

I became different from the one you were with

I was smiling outside but inside, I bleed.

It wasn’t only I who started to change.

If only I had the guts to tell you I find it strange

That we weren’t the same person we were before

Why was I too scared to ask?

I shouldn’t have ignored.

We fill in the void with worldly stuff

At the end of the day, it just wasn’t enough

We missed the trip, we missed the flight

We were so engrossed to see the light.

all these time, I was living a superficial life

I wasn’t made to be just a trophy wife

Day in, day out… I longed to be completely whole

It just wasn’t enough for my poor restless soul.


Tuesday, May 24, 2011 11:45 PM

ever after.


and so she cries
so silently that even she
couldnt hear and lies
so no one would see.
to have alot and yet
still feel so empty
blaming others she regrets
the sadness from her own misery.
taunting others for being happy
judgement arised so endlessly
how she thinks… its just too devious
so well she hid…
her motives werent too obvious.
a princess. she will never be
because her heart is made of steel
they just feel sorry
that she couldnt even reveal.
her real feelings and jealousy
of something that she never got to be
a princess, a love, a memory
of what life has to offer
squared and boxed
masking deceptions matter….
to be real or not to be..
all about an ever after.

bittersweet sorrow

bittersweet sorrow.