heart.mind.body.and soul


when you let me fill your empty walls…
you filled my empty heart
you have made me stand tall
and that made me make a new start
i saw myself as a human being
capable of love and believing
that walls need to crumble down
as my heart ends its frown.
i am not looking for something
but something stirred up inside me
maybe it would be worth trying
maybe i should just wait and see.
you had the key ….so unexpectedly
my walls fell down the ground
like a crashing tidal wave
the fortress i thought
i would bring to my grave
the walls i have long fought.
left me yearning to love you more
and the fear of loving you
has brought me up and back to the floor
as i reach for the pieces
of the walls you let fall
to let me in… inside your heart
inside your mind… body and soul.

Continue reading

run wild.


i never allow a person
to ever get near me
and see the tears go on
an on and on freely.
i can feel. i can love
but i remain cold out and above
beneath the ice though
is a fire that only i know.
i can conceal
and never reveal
wouldnt even dare
take off my mask
and let them know i care.

the paint brush would swoop
colors in circles and a loop
paint my smile and my joy
blissfully like a child with a new toy.
the pen flows freely on a pad
when the tears fall and i feel sad
but then…only a few would ever know
what goes on inside me….
and so i put on a great show
of strength and bravery.

no i am not tamed….
but i learned to train
my darkness and turned it into light
and vowed to radiate so bright.
no. i cannot be tamed at all
but you can ride with me and take a fall
….i only promise you i would be there
always…. if you dare.
its the life that i have come to love
freely…openly…. sent from above
it is the only life that is worth the ride
with only my heart as a guide.
and your beautiful restless soul as our compass
live each day like it was the last….
if you take all of me….
my darkness and light….
my unconquerable soul…
and my inner child
come away with me….
where we can both run free and wild.

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♡ ♥ ♡

couldve been.


I cannot explain
How much pain
I feel inside my heart
Like its been ripped apart.
Thoughts of what couldve been
Hold me close in between
Cries of anguish and sorrow
From what we could be tomorrow
But you just stopped calling
And i couldnt stop myself from falling
Than i thought i ever could
And i never really understood
How i let my heart slip away
From something i ran away from
And then one day
What i fear…it has become.
I ran away because i got scared
From the beating of my heart
When you and i have shared
Silent moments right from the start
But we never had the perfect time
To commit the perfect crime
For fear that my heart would break
Because i cannot calculate
How much i would feel for you
I might give it all …and it is the wrong thing to do

And i was so right
But the day came and i could no longer fight
I was left without a choice
I had to take the leap
When i heard my own voice
That it may not be too steep.
Now left alone…
With the pain i have never known
The only constant reminder
Of the friendship that forever
Stained and betrayed my heart
When it hoped to start
To feel the love that you held back
To give you the love that
Only i can give…
Like a memory from a dream
That i have forseen
The pain i hold close like a second skin
Envelopes me with the memory
….as i remember all that couldve been.

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♡ ♥ ♡

playing with the memories.


Once in a while
I hear a note or two
I close my eyes and smile
And i think of you.
You wrapped my heart around
With the most heavenly sound
I play with the memories
It seems crazy but i cant resist.
You make my heart sing a song or two
I wonder how id ever get through
All the storms that life had showered
Wishing that i would always remember
Every little detail and i would paint
Wonderful colors without restraint
Its hard to believe that im going through this
My heart sings…
When im playing with the memories.

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♡♡

from dusk till dawn.


the fire never dims…. if anything but
it will always spark only this time
it will be bottled within and….
waiting… time and again…
for both fire and ice to merge
and let their souls play
the melody that they sang for so long
like the evening sky
from dusk till dawn. Continue reading

moments.


I would love it so much if you take a break

And think of me and how much I ache

To spend as many moments we can have together

Even if we know that we will always have forever.
Continue reading

misbehave.


  My heart tells me to go But my body kept saying no I wanted to leave, wanted to flee Somehow… it didnt feel like me. I wanted to be near you I wanted to touch you My heart kept … Continue reading

life is a paradox.


We spend our whole life searching

For our one true love

And we also have to accept our fate

That to wait forever is just never too late Continue reading

little voice.


I thought I had lived

I heard a silent scream inside

That I wasn’t really alive

And I might as well be dead.

Said a little voice inside my head. Continue reading

intertwined fate.


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intertwined fate
infinite love
each half of our hearts,
thats all we have.
we are far richer
than we can imagine
with love…
then we can begin

restless soul


 

♥♥♥

For so long now, I was misunderstood

Stereotyped, they never saw the good

Its not their fault, I never let them see

That somehow, I kept hidden the best in me.

Little did I know I was living a superficial lie

Dozens of earrings and purses cannot satisfy

Different shades of make up to cover my face

From the sadness I didn’t want to trace.

One would think I never really cared at all

Until one day, my world started to crumble

Only then did I realize that diamonds are never enough

It takes so more than that to make someone tough.

The days gone by and it turned to years,

I bought earrings to cover my ears…

I chose to ignore what my heart once said

Be your own person, or you’d rather be dead.

Change is good but leave some for yourself.

It won’t be healthy if you turn out to be someone else

But I chose to deny what my heart was crying out loud

It was deafening but I was just too proud..

We worked so hard to be with each other in the past

I thought nothing can ever come between us…

Little by little, the spark just somehow died

I was wrong not to listen to that nagging voice inside.

Even as I lay right next to you,

we seem so far apart

It wasn’t the same as it was from the start

How lost were we among our own desires;

That we forgot to fuel each other’s fires?

Too late now for the if only’s of the earth

 I cannot dwell on that coz I cannot find its worth

All we had to do was to sit down and have a talk

Or go out the backyard and take a little walk.

I wanted to save every little thing that was left of us

But I am not one to nag…

Although I should’ve asked

I became different from the one you were with

I was smiling outside but inside, I bleed.

It wasn’t only I who started to change.

If only I had the guts to tell you I find it strange

That we weren’t the same person we were before

Why was I too scared to ask?

I shouldn’t have ignored.

We fill in the void with worldly stuff

At the end of the day, it just wasn’t enough

We missed the trip, we missed the flight

We were so engrossed to see the light.

all these time, I was living a superficial life

I wasn’t made to be just a trophy wife

Day in, day out… I longed to be completely whole

It just wasn’t enough for my poor restless soul.

 

Tuesday, May 24, 2011 11:45 PM

truelovejunkie collection.

This gallery contains 9 photos.


may love find you where ever you go… 🙂 Continue reading

[our] love….work of art.


and as the pen moved through

the whispers of my heart

the most beautiful thing we have ever made

is to make our love … a work of art.
Continue reading

i danced in the rain.



On a quiet Saturday afternoon, I watch the rain
Listening to the gushing sound in my window pane
I want to hold it dear… and embrace
And feel the raindrops falling on my face.

 It isn’t always gloomy when the clouds are grey
Rain seems to always wash away
And your heart now believes
As it cleanse dirt on the leaves.

 For every rain, there is something in store
Raindrops falling… same as before
Wind blowing leaves in all directions
Let it fly away… crashing in intersections.

 Rain only falls …. From up above to the ground
And yet no matter how strong it may sound
Play it in your ear and listen to nature’s music for once
Stop. Think. Close your eyes, feel it and dance.

 It seldom rains on a Saturday afternoon
Embrace the music and dance to the tune
There is nothing better than to feel
Raindrops on your face… so swift and still.

Never let this pass… the chance to know and feel the rain
Open your heart, your mind and for once be insane
Simple things, simple pleasures for my soul
To dance in the rain, it is never impossible to reach my goal.

Go out, and open your doors…
Rush to the road and gallop like a horse
Sway with the leaves and feel no shame
When you dance in the rain,
You won’t ever be the same.

 Raindrops hang on the balcony
Like little silver balls on a Christmas Tree
One start to fall from its place
Another one is falling… they leave but replaced.

 Rain is just one of life’s simple forms
To help us get pass our storms
Someda
y, one day soon… the world will know
How I danced in the rain…  Even in pain
Only then… I start to grow.

Falling down, getting back up, red petals and thorns
Raindrops and roses… Life’s little adorns
That’s how I knew I have lived when I found joy amidst the pain
A priceless experience as my heart borns…
A soul, a life… when I danced in the rain.

 

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truelovejunkie ©   

 

completely whole.


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how i miss my writer’s nook
where i hide my fantasies behind a book
i ventured out on colors and canvas
i thought it would just pass.
but no it didn’t, i became an artist
i write, i sketch, i draw and paint
words and colors, i cannot resist
stop me… and i feel restraint.
i have outdone myself now
i know that i have somehow
reached my peak, my growth
i am free… there is none i loathe.

i am free from the pain
when i learn to let go… really let go
i thought i was going insane
when i did what i never know….
i am a soul… i am living in my soul.
i am whole… completely whole..

10 Ways to Break Your Own Heart.


 

10 Ways to Break Your Own Heart

 

 

10 Ways to Break Your Own Heart

The worst kind of heartache is the kind you inflict on yourself.

If you don’t want to break your own heart, then don’t…

  1. Let people invalidate or minimize how you feel. – If you feel something, you feel it and it’s real to you.  Nothing anyone says has the power to invalidate that, ever.  No one else lives in your body, or sees life through your eyes.  No one else has lived through your exact experiences.  And so, no one else has the right to dictate or judge how you feel.  Your feelings are important.  Don’t let anyone lead you to believe otherwise.
  2. Regret every mistake you’ve ever made. – If you regret some of the decisions you’ve made in the past, stop being so hard on yourself.  At that time, you did your best with the knowledge you had.  At that time, you did your best with the experience you had.  Your decisions were made with a younger mind.  If you were to make these decisions with the wisdom you have now, you would choose differently.  So give yourself a break.  Time and experience has a wonderful way of helping us prosper, grow and learn to make better choices today, for ourselves and those we care for.  Read Emotional Freedom.
  3. Take your loved ones for granted. – Someday, for one reason or another, there will be someone you miss dearly.  Missing this person will have nothing to do with how long it’s been since you’ve seen them, or the amount of time since you’ve talked.  It will be about that very moment when you’re doing something and you wish they were right there with you.  So be sure to appreciate every moment you get to spend with the people who matter to you.
  4. Let your ego get the best of you. – Sometimes we choose to be wrong, not because we really are wrong, but because we value our relationship more than our pride.  When two people who care about each other fight, both are wrong.  They have put some kind of superficial outcome over love and compromise.  The one who apologizes and makes up first, is the one who is right.
  5. Get involved in every petty argument that comes your way. – Being strong doesn’t mean you have to stay and fight all the battles and petty arguments that come your way.  Being strong doesn’t mean you have to respond to rude remarks.  Don’t retort by throwing insults back at them.  Don’t bring yourself down to their level.  That’s what they want.  Keep your dignity.  True strength is being smart enough to walk away from all the nonsense with your head held high.  Read The Four Agreements.
  6. Join the negativity committee. – No matter how much negativity is thrown at you by others, there is absolutely no need for you to stay put and participate in the self-destruction they choose for their own lives.  You decide how your soul grows.  The extent of your happiness depends on the quality of your thoughts.  So be positive.  Some of the best days of your life haven’t happened yet.
  7. Rush love. – A good relationship is when two people accept each other’s past, support each other’s present, and love each other enough to encourage each other’s future.  So don’t rush love.  Find a partner who encourages you to grow, who won’t cling to you, who will let you go out into the world, and trust that you will come back.  This is what true love is all about, and it’s always worth the wait.
  8. Hold on to those who don’t want to stay. – It’s really painful to say goodbye to someone that you don’t want to let go of, but it’s even more painful to hold on to them if they never wanted to stay in the first place.  If someone doesn’t show you the same love that you show them, and acts as if you are unimportant most of the time, this may be a big clue as to the fact that you don’t need them in your life either.  The only people you truly need in your life are those who respect you and want you to be in theirs.
  9. Ignore every bit of constructive criticism you receive. – The worst lies are the ones we tell ourselves.  A true friend will always speak the truth, even if it hurts.  So don’t assume that every critic in your life is a hater.  Not everyone is hating on you.  Some people truly care about you, and are simply telling you the truth that you have been subconsciously denying.  Read The Mastery of Love.
  10. Give up on yourself. – Maneuvering through difficult times is a lot like driving through dense fog.  You can’t always see where you’re going, you feel a little lost, you want to turn back, and every mile feels like forever.  Yet, scared or fatigued as you might be, there’s nothing you can do but breathe, focus on the road ahead, keep moving forward, and trust that a force with keener vision than yours is out there functioning as your guide.

 

12 Things Happy People Do Differently.


post written by: Marc

12 Things Happy People Do Differently

12 Things Happy People Do Differently

by Jacob Sokol of Sensophy

“I’d always believed that a life of quality, enjoyment, and wisdom were my human birthright and would be automatically bestowed upon me as time passed.  I never suspected that I would have to learn how to live – that there were specific disciplines and ways of seeing the world I had to master before I could awaken to a simple, happy, uncomplicated life.”
Dan Millman

Studies conducted by positivity psychologist Sonja Lyubomirsky point to 12 things happy people do differently to increase their levels of happiness.  These are things that we can start doing today to feel the effects of more happiness in our lives.  (Check out her book The How of Happiness.)

I want to honor and discuss each of these 12 points, because no matter what part of life’s path we’re currently traveling on, these ‘happiness habits’ will always be applicable.

  1. Express gratitude. – When you appreciate what you have, what you have appreciates in value.  Kinda cool right?  So basically, being grateful for the goodness that is already evident in your life will bring you a deeper sense of happiness.  And that’s without having to go out and buy anything.  It makes sense.  We’re gonna have a hard time ever being happy if we aren’t thankful for what we already have.
  2. Cultivate optimism. – Winners have the ability to manufacture their own optimism.  No matter what the situation, the successful diva is the chick who will always find a way to put an optimistic spin on it.  She knows failure only as an opportunity to grow and learn a new lesson from life.  People who think optimistically see the world as a place packed with endless opportunities, especially in trying times.
  3. Avoid over-thinking and social comparison. – Comparing yourself to someone else can be poisonous.  If we’re somehow ‘better’ than the person that we’re comparing ourselves to, it gives us an unhealthy sense of superiority.  Our ego inflates – KABOOM – our inner Kanye West comes out!  If we’re ‘worse’ than the person that we’re comparing ourselves to, we usually discredit the hard work that we’ve done and dismiss all the progress that we’ve made.  What I’ve found is that the majority of the time this type of social comparison doesn’t stem from a healthy place.  If you feel called to compare yourself to something, compare yourself to an earlier version of yourself.
  4. Practice acts of kindness. – Performing an act of kindness releases serotonin in your brain.  (Serotonin is a substance that has TREMENDOUS health benefits, including making us feel more blissful.)  Selflessly helping someone is a super powerful way to feel good inside.  What’s even cooler about this kindness kick is that not only will you feel better, but so will people watching the act of kindness.  How extraordinary is that?  Bystanders will be blessed with a release of serotonin just by watching what’s going on.  A side note is that the job of most anti-depressants is to release more serotonin.  Move over Pfizer, kindness is kicking ass and taking names.
  5. Nurture social relationships. – The happiest people on the planet are the ones who have deep, meaningful relationships.  Did you know studies show that people’s mortality rates are DOUBLED when they’re lonely?  WHOA!  There’s a warm fuzzy feeling that comes from having an active circle of good friends who you can share your experiences with.  We feel connected and a part of something more meaningful than our lonesome existence.
  6. Develop strategies for coping. – How you respond to the ‘craptastic’ moments is what shapes your character.  Sometimes crap happens – it’s inevitable.  Forrest Gump knows the deal.  It can be hard to come up with creative solutions in the moment when manure is making its way up toward the fan.  It helps to have healthy strategies for coping pre-rehearsed, on-call, and in your arsenal at your disposal.
  7. Learn to forgive. – Harboring feelings of hatred is horrible for your well-being.  You see, your mind doesn’t know the difference between past and present emotion.  When you ‘hate’ someone, and you’re continuously thinking about it, those negative emotions are eating away at your immune system.  You put yourself in a state of suckerism (technical term) and it stays with you throughout your day.
  8. Increase flow experiences.Flow is a state in which it feels like time stands still.  It’s when you’re so focused on what you’re doing that you become one with the task.  Action and awareness are merged.  You’re not hungry, sleepy, or emotional.  You’re just completely engaged in the activity that you’re doing.  Nothing is distracting you or competing for your focus.
  9. Savor life’s joys. – Deep happiness cannot exist without slowing down to enjoy the joy.  It’s easy in a world of wild stimuli and omnipresent movement to forget to embrace life’s enjoyable experiences.  When we neglect to appreciate, we rob the moment of its magic.  It’s the simple things in life that can be the most rewarding if we remember to fully experience them.
  10. Commit to your goals. – Being wholeheartedly dedicated to doing something comes fully-equipped with an ineffable force.  Magical things start happening when we commit ourselves to doing whatever it takes to get somewhere.  When you’re fully committed to doing something, you have no choice but to do that thing.  Counter-intuitively, having no option – where you can’t change your mind – subconsciously makes humans happier because they know part of their purpose.
  11. Practice spirituality. – When we practice spirituality or religion, we recognize that life is bigger than us.  We surrender the silly idea that we are the mightiest thing ever.  It enables us to connect to the source of all creation and embrace a connectedness with everything that exists.  Some of the most accomplished people I know feel that they’re here doing work they’re “called to do.”
  12. Take care of your body. – Taking care of your body is crucial to being the happiest person you can be.  If you don’t have your physical energy in good shape, then your mental energy (your focus), your emotional energy (your feelings), and your spiritual energy (your purpose) will all be negatively affected.  Did you know that studies conducted on people who were clinically depressed showed that consistent exercise raises happiness levels just as much as Zoloft?  Not only that, but here’s the double whammy… Six months later, the people who participated in exercise were less likely to relapse because they had a higher sense of self-accomplishment and self-worth.

Jacob Sokol is committed to living an extraordinary life.  Today he released “Living on Purpose – An Uncommon Guide to Finding, Living, and Rocking Your Life’s Purpose.”  He also loves his mom dearly.

behind.


 

the year has passed by so quickly
yet it always almost seemed like yesterday
when you smiled at me
and swept me away.

i can remember every minute that we shared
when you and i finally declared
how we still  feel even after all these years..
the pain… the love… its all worth the tears.

everyday, i cannot believe how blessed i am
how our love have become
time, distance is nothing between us
because our soul know our love will last.

the year we both shared together
could never measure up
the the 15 years without each other
i can feel we would have forever.

i have never felt this alive
and you have let me reach out and dive
to a love that has led me to find
myself, my soul.. and
the heart i thought that left me behind.

 

10-8-2012

5am

 

my dearest love,

its been a year. a year that has finally kept my heart and soul alive. its been a year and we still have each other. just you and me. in our bubble.. only this time, our bubble has allowed the real world in. real problems that we know we can rise above. i want you to know that i would always stay with you. through thick and thin…

your love has led me to push myself beyond my limits and do things i never thought i was capable of doing all my life… your love has opened my soul and reached out for the core of my being and create pictures that speak of love and poems that spell nothing but the love we have for each other and the love that we are.

my love has made you see a different side of life. that is the only thing i can offer you.. a smile inside your heart when things aren’t going our way… it is the only thing that my heart is capable of giving. it is the only thing that i know will go a long way. a smile in your heart to fulfill all your heart’s desires.

it will always be just me and you.
just us two…

(carrie & big)

….. just like you said.

 

forever yours,

~

 

little love cradle.


rock my love, back and forth
and take me up north
take me down south
and slowly kiss my mouth.

i dream of you… and i see
vista is a reality
as we sit side by side
and open our hearts wide

you and i, our love rocks
back and forth our hearts
will jump over the hurdle
as we share a world
….a little love cradle.

everything.

everything.


when we had nothing, we had everything…. whe we had everyting… it felt like we had nothing… if not with each other… we are worth the love we have. it is everything…l love.

love. the greatest driving force


In my secret haven…
I hid behind the shadows of yesterday
Myself… I have never given
The choice to let my heart lead the way. Continue reading

I Am who i am.


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to not care what other people say….

we learn to live by our own rules….

and break the society’s.
even if people call you names,

the monent that we know ourselves,

is the very moment

that we give our hearts and soul

the power to live a joyful and glorious life.

—-not to mention the filled with L-O-V-E.

let our love.


let our love be
as strong as the tree
even if the leaves may fall
together, we stand tall
and when the flowers
may wither…
let our love blossom
even in winter.

let our love be
the language of our hearts
the weapon of our soul
that strengthen us
when faced with a hot coal.

let our love be.
forever.
like the tree.
for all eternity.