wild heart.


like little children …. innocent and pure
to be free …. and ever obscure
laughing and living life beautifully
so solemn and im serenity
that is life…. a piece of art
untamed… like my wild wild heart. Continue reading

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run wild.


i never allow a person
to ever get near me
and see the tears go on
an on and on freely.
i can feel. i can love
but i remain cold out and above
beneath the ice though
is a fire that only i know.
i can conceal
and never reveal
wouldnt even dare
take off my mask
and let them know i care.

the paint brush would swoop
colors in circles and a loop
paint my smile and my joy
blissfully like a child with a new toy.
the pen flows freely on a pad
when the tears fall and i feel sad
but then…only a few would ever know
what goes on inside me….
and so i put on a great show
of strength and bravery.

no i am not tamed….
but i learned to train
my darkness and turned it into light
and vowed to radiate so bright.
no. i cannot be tamed at all
but you can ride with me and take a fall
….i only promise you i would be there
always…. if you dare.
its the life that i have come to love
freely…openly…. sent from above
it is the only life that is worth the ride
with only my heart as a guide.
and your beautiful restless soul as our compass
live each day like it was the last….
if you take all of me….
my darkness and light….
my unconquerable soul…
and my inner child
come away with me….
where we can both run free and wild.

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♡ ♥ ♡

couldve been.


I cannot explain
How much pain
I feel inside my heart
Like its been ripped apart.
Thoughts of what couldve been
Hold me close in between
Cries of anguish and sorrow
From what we could be tomorrow
But you just stopped calling
And i couldnt stop myself from falling
Than i thought i ever could
And i never really understood
How i let my heart slip away
From something i ran away from
And then one day
What i fear…it has become.
I ran away because i got scared
From the beating of my heart
When you and i have shared
Silent moments right from the start
But we never had the perfect time
To commit the perfect crime
For fear that my heart would break
Because i cannot calculate
How much i would feel for you
I might give it all …and it is the wrong thing to do

And i was so right
But the day came and i could no longer fight
I was left without a choice
I had to take the leap
When i heard my own voice
That it may not be too steep.
Now left alone…
With the pain i have never known
The only constant reminder
Of the friendship that forever
Stained and betrayed my heart
When it hoped to start
To feel the love that you held back
To give you the love that
Only i can give…
Like a memory from a dream
That i have forseen
The pain i hold close like a second skin
Envelopes me with the memory
….as i remember all that couldve been.

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♡ ♥ ♡

from dusk till dawn.


the fire never dims…. if anything but
it will always spark only this time
it will be bottled within and….
waiting… time and again…
for both fire and ice to merge
and let their souls play
the melody that they sang for so long
like the evening sky
from dusk till dawn. Continue reading

moments.


I would love it so much if you take a break

And think of me and how much I ache

To spend as many moments we can have together

Even if we know that we will always have forever.
Continue reading

life is a paradox.


We spend our whole life searching

For our one true love

And we also have to accept our fate

That to wait forever is just never too late Continue reading

restless soul


 

♥♥♥

For so long now, I was misunderstood

Stereotyped, they never saw the good

Its not their fault, I never let them see

That somehow, I kept hidden the best in me.

Little did I know I was living a superficial lie

Dozens of earrings and purses cannot satisfy

Different shades of make up to cover my face

From the sadness I didn’t want to trace.

One would think I never really cared at all

Until one day, my world started to crumble

Only then did I realize that diamonds are never enough

It takes so more than that to make someone tough.

The days gone by and it turned to years,

I bought earrings to cover my ears…

I chose to ignore what my heart once said

Be your own person, or you’d rather be dead.

Change is good but leave some for yourself.

It won’t be healthy if you turn out to be someone else

But I chose to deny what my heart was crying out loud

It was deafening but I was just too proud..

We worked so hard to be with each other in the past

I thought nothing can ever come between us…

Little by little, the spark just somehow died

I was wrong not to listen to that nagging voice inside.

Even as I lay right next to you,

we seem so far apart

It wasn’t the same as it was from the start

How lost were we among our own desires;

That we forgot to fuel each other’s fires?

Too late now for the if only’s of the earth

 I cannot dwell on that coz I cannot find its worth

All we had to do was to sit down and have a talk

Or go out the backyard and take a little walk.

I wanted to save every little thing that was left of us

But I am not one to nag…

Although I should’ve asked

I became different from the one you were with

I was smiling outside but inside, I bleed.

It wasn’t only I who started to change.

If only I had the guts to tell you I find it strange

That we weren’t the same person we were before

Why was I too scared to ask?

I shouldn’t have ignored.

We fill in the void with worldly stuff

At the end of the day, it just wasn’t enough

We missed the trip, we missed the flight

We were so engrossed to see the light.

all these time, I was living a superficial life

I wasn’t made to be just a trophy wife

Day in, day out… I longed to be completely whole

It just wasn’t enough for my poor restless soul.

 

Tuesday, May 24, 2011 11:45 PM

[our] love….work of art.


and as the pen moved through

the whispers of my heart

the most beautiful thing we have ever made

is to make our love … a work of art.
Continue reading

crazy. beautiful.


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the wind gets crazy
but the field remains creamy
grasses that are calm and steady
greens that give the world such beauty.

the tiny fragments fly in the air
sometimes, life couldn’t be so fair
but all remains cool and i dare
dance while the breeze touch the skin i wear.

life is a dance
and love is the romance
i should never pass up this chance
to live a life… with the one i loved once.

the quest for true love.


we are all searching for the one thing we deprive ourselves of… because we are afraid of being vulnerable. of being innocent, of being a child… whose heart’s been broken for the first time..
but it was the only time when we truly felt alive. pain is never enough for me… i now know… in all my adulthood…. the greater the pain, the sweeter the joy…. and i would always give my heart another chance…
fairy tales do come true…. if we hold the pain until it embraces us and it will be a part of us …. becaue that will always be the reminder that joy is just around the corner.. and love is still alive…

value.


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we don’t know what we’ve lost,
until we’ve lost it.

isn’t it sad when the day comes that you realize it is too late for you to take back everything you’ve taken for granted when they were there? we often fail to value what we have when we hAve it.. or them. the same with time… we waste it and in the end… waste it even more trying to recapture what is lost. when from the start, we could’ve prevented it from happening and try to take heed of the time and moments lost with them. life is too precious to waste it away. maybe if we only open our hearts, And not get too caught up in making our choices, then we would learn to keep all that is meant for us to all along….
but then, everything in life is a lesson. we always learn from past mistakes. and valuing our own hearts first is the key to keep all the thigs and the people in our lives forever. for if we lose something or someone we love, we lose a part of ourselves too.

let our love.


let our love be
as strong as the tree
even if the leaves may fall
together, we stand tall
and when the flowers
may wither…
let our love blossom
even in winter.

let our love be
the language of our hearts
the weapon of our soul
that strengthen us
when faced with a hot coal.

let our love be.
forever.
like the tree.
for all eternity.

12 Rules for Being a Human Being


12 Rules for Being a Human Being

source:

http://www.marcandangel.com/2012/08/06/12-rules-for-being-a-human-being/

12 Rules for Being a Human Being

Don’t try to be perfect. Just be an excellent example of being human.

Here are a few things to keep in mind:

  1. Growth requires pain. – Be patient and tough, someday this pain will be useful to you. Those with the strength to succeed in the long run are the ones who lay a firm foundation of growth with the bricks that life has thrown at them. So don’t be afraid to fall apart for a little while. Because when it happens, the situation will open an opportunity for you to grow and rebuild yourself into the brilliant person you are capable of being.

  2. You will learn as long as you live. – There is no stage of life that does not contain new lessons. As long as you live there will be something more to learn. And as long as you follow your heart and never stop learning, you’ll turn not older, but newer every day. Read The Last Lecture.
  3. There is a positive lesson in every life experience. – Don’t forget to acknowledge the lesson, especially when things don’t go your way. If you make a mistake that sets you back a little, or a business deal or a relationship doesn’t work, it only means a new opportunity is out there waiting. And the lesson you just learned is the first step towards it.
  4. True beauty lives under the skin. – When you start to really know someone, most of their physical characteristics vanish in your mind. You begin to dwell in their energy, recognize their scent, and appreciate their wit. You see only the essence of the person, not the shell. That’s why you can’t fall in love with physical beauty. You can lust after it, be infatuated by it, or want to own it. You can love it with your eyes and your body for a little while, but not your heart in the long-term. And that’s why, when you really connect with a person’s inner self, most physical imperfections become irrelevant.

  5. Only you know what you’re capable of.Unless someone can look into the core of your heart, and see the degree of your passion, or look into the depths of your soul and see the extent of your will, then they have no business telling you what you can or cannot achieve. Because while they may know the odds, they do not know YOU, and what you’re capable of. That’s something only you know.
  6. Your love creates your happiness. – The happiness you feel is in direct proportion to the love you give. When you love, you subconsciously strive to become better than you are. When you strive to become better than you are, everything around you becomes better too. During your youth, love will be your teacher; in your middle age, love will be your foundation; and in your old age, love will be your fondest memories and your greatest delight. Read The Road Less Traveled.
  7. You earn respect by being respectful. – Respect isn’t something you can demand or manipulate by saying what you think people want to hear. You earn respect by listening, acknowledging feelings and treating others with the same respect you hope to get in return. Treat everyone with kindness and respect, even those who are rude to you – not because they are nice, but because you are.
  8. Negativity poisons the soul. – Don’t let needless drama and negativity stop you from being the best you can be. Avoid the drama, and focus on what truly matters. Life is insanely short and your time is precious, so don’t waste your time on trivial matters. Let go of the things that are weighing you down. As you unclutter your life, you will slowly free yourself to answer the callings of your inner spirit.

  9. Your health is your life. – Regardless of the size and shape of your body, it is the greatest tool you will ever own. Without it, you wouldn’t be alive. How you take care of it or fail to take care of it can make an enormous difference in the quality of your life. Exercise to be fit, not skinny. Eat to nourish your body. To truly be your best, you must give your body the fuel it needs. Toss the junk and fill your kitchen with fresh, whole foods. Run, swim, bike, walk – sweat! Good health is essential for having the energy, stamina and outlook to tackle your goals and dreams.
  10. Letting go is part of moving on to something better. – You will not get what you truly deserve if you’re too attached to the things you’re supposed to let go of. Sometimes you love, and you struggle, and you learn, and you move on. And that’s okay. You must be willing to let go of the life you planned for so you can enjoy the life that is waiting for you.

  11. This moment is a gift. – The truth is, your whole life has been leading up to this moment. Think about that for a second. Every single thing you’ve gone through in life, every high, every low, and everything in between, has led you to this moment right now. This moment is priceless, and it’s the only moment guaranteed to you. This moment is your ‘life.’ Don’t miss it. Read Tuesdays with Morrie.
  12. Your choices design your life. – You have a choice each and every single day. Choose to appreciate what you have. Choose to make to make time for yourself. Choose to do something that makes you smile. Choose to be excited. Choose to laugh at your own silliness. Choose to spend time with positive people. Choose to be persistent with your goals. Choose to try again and again. Within your choices lie all the tools and resources you need to design the life of your dreams, it’s just a matter of choosing wisely.

Photo by: Colton Mitt

forever.


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my dearest love,

this is me and you
in timeless love and life
we laugh at the journey
that started with strife…
but when love and forever
was all we had to remember
…..
love is the only reason
why we breathe so much passion
and yet as calm as the sea
peaceful as the valley
and flowing as the river are we
when you and i are together…
our world become so much brighter…
….
this is you and i in timelessness
this is you and me….
in one of the thousand sunsets
that together we will blissfully
share in the days to come…
you and me… together
…. love has the power
for us to have this altogether
and live it forever….

you will always be my one and only love.
forever yours ,
-me

playing with abundance.


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the art of gratitude
brings us steadfast gifts
and life is all good
as we sail on our ships.
we learn to take the chance
and play with abundance
how precious life is
if we look with our hearts
we only have inner peace
the way its meant to be from the start.

life is all that we love
and to love would be a gift from above
little do we know
slowly, we start to grow
life’s magic lights and manifests
only our hearts can see how we are blessed
and so we smile and learn each day
we sing and we grasp on the chance
for us to grow… each step of the way
as we all learn to play…. with abundance.

ever after.


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and so she cries
so silently that even she
couldnt hear and lies
so no one would see.
to have alot and yet
still feel so empty
blaming others she regrets
the sadness from her own misery.
taunting others for being happy
judgement arised so endlessly
how she thinks… its just too devious
so well she hid…
her motives werent too obvious.
a princess. she will never be
because her heart is made of steel
they just feel sorry
that she couldnt even reveal.
her real feelings and jealousy
of something that she never got to be
a princess, a love, a memory
of what life has to offer
squared and boxed
masking deceptions matter….
to be real or not to be..
all about an ever after.

i am.


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i am loved. i have love
i have everything blessed from above
joy that i cannot hoard
so i try to spread it all over the world.
the world that i am sitting on
will live forever long after i’m gone.
this is all too real…
i laugh, i cry.. and i feel
i know love is all we could ever have
and there arent enough words…
with love…
i am sitting on top of the world.

——
our world babeee…. 😉

happy place.


when sad… we all have our happy place. it’s not literally a place we go to. its a place we get into. memories, dreams… or that special person you hold close in your heart… we can’t really call it our … Continue reading

doodles week 2


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week 2 on doodling…. i cant get enough of this! 🙂 food for the soul….
🙂
still using crayons but i sometimes mix pastels too. 🙂

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poetry in motion.


i pray to never run out of words…to be able to show the world how our love has transformed what once a cynic, now reformed. though there are probably not enough to describe all the love i have for you … Continue reading

discernment.


 

i am currently loving all the unexpected gifts i am blessed with. i know this has got to take me somewhere — big. but… lately, i keep discovering all these wonders inside that lay dormant for years and i feel like there is still so much in store for me. i also feel that the realisation of my dreams is really near. how to go about it, i don’t know… i just ride with the tide, i don’t drive. sometimes, it can be frustrating but nevertheless, surprisingly calm. even if the external aspect of my life isn’t as peaceful as it should be… [ i could totally say — true test of peace…]

i am a multitasker. and if there is one thing i like… it is mixing and fixing everything altogether in one. so… i made a list of my “gifts” and the not so wanted character. i like the production part better… it is actually the managing slash routine that is dreadful to me.

for the book – i know that is where i am heading… only i am still not getting the right signal for that. in my heart, that is where i am truly headed. for my ego, i wish to make a big bang explosion when i am launching it… that is my soul. and that is me NAKED in front of everyone. until such time. the timing isn’t ripe yet. it is meant to help others with self improvement, empowerment,….. too much info. :–)

for the dried flowers: i have learned patience, — and the theme of my life: finding beauty in all that is not. so that is also part of me. i like the “vintage-y” feel around. i like all things classic, romantic, ….makes me remember all that i wish to be in..

posters: that is left brain and right brain with my self improvement student and frustrating friend i wish to rise above all the experiences she went through… which is the same as mine. but have not gotten around to it. oh but how she makes me “human” sometimes…. its just a matter of time, and we will combine our “charm” to make something really out of this world in our own little world ….
gosh sabrina— hurry up and ascend a D higher please! let’s rock their world!

printabilities: oh, my only window to creativity when i was with my husband… gift tags and calling cards.

photography: i bought a camera to source out my “window” when i was with my husband. -believe you me, i couldn’t write a decent poem until our beloved pet died. and since i didn’t know i could MAKE pictures then, i decided to take them. probably also because i would rather take pictures because i am supposed to be lighter by a 100lbs. and how i used to love my pictures taken when i was 100lbs lighter… [yeah…vanity is my favorite sin] – but to justify that –  i used to love myself from OUTSIDE IN.

doodles/drawing: this is actually the best thing to ever happen to me— for now. because never in my wildest dream i could draw! i am so ecstatic. i used to visualize my book when i was little that the pictures were hand-drawn. but instead opted for photographs since its too impossible for me to have to draw it. nevertheless, wow…. it is all coming together now. 🙂

cooking: i do small orders from friends and yes, i too can cook. anything!
— except pastries…. too much rules for me. and i can’t break it. and it has to be timed at a certain degree… oh — i can’t do it. NOT YET i suppose.

——-

so basically, i need extra help in prayers for discerning what it really is. this is what is mind boggling. i know my purpose. i know the end of it all. it is just basically to be able to give hope to non believers of true love.. and each one of us… we start within ourselves. and when we have learn to love ourselves, we can sit quietly with ourselves… we love our own company…. and when we can finally sit quietly alone, then true love can peacefully be with us. [lets face it, if we can’t be alone with ourselves, if we dislike our own company…. what makes us think others can too?]
it is just a matter of time. i am blessed with deep knowing and clear seeing (even if at times i challenge it, it smacks me right in front of my face… oh, that is probably why we both kept saying let us work on ourselves. ] ohhh!!! NOW…. [another aha moment!]

its a labyrinthine life i am living and i cannot wait to be in the center. 🙂 with HIM and him.

 

—-

Prayer:

Thank You Lord for making my life worth living. For helping me find meaning and making me see our purpose very clearly. i ask You not to shield me from any chances that may make me grow and be the best i can be but to give me strength and make me UNSHAKEABLE to rock their worlds for the better….

Continue to bless my kids with such understanding of the whole situation and let them open their hearts to know YOU more too.. and give their lives meaning and purpose too.

Lead me to the right people to know that i am headed in the right direction…. and I am grateful for all the random grace that You continually make me see. LEt me ROCK this life to Your liking. 🙂 coz YOU rock.

and let him lead with his heart through your wisdom. and make him FEARLESS too. 🙂 and believe in himself the way he does with me and the way i do with him. 🙂

PS. i hope you don’t mind that i hardly hear mass.

 

 

 

 

sacred.

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i just did this …. for almost 4 hours… i was feeling uneasy when i started doodling… so i just kept going.. not knowing what to make… and this is what i came up with. i believe that this is … Continue reading

the world in her hands


20120720-105244.jpgwith love, we have everything.

drawn to ask.


Ask, and it shall be given you; seek,

and ye shall find; knock,

and it shall be opened unto you:

Matthew 7:7

when i was a child, i always used to love to color. i wanted to draw but i was too frustrated everytime because i couldnt put in picture what i wanted to. i could make smileys, stick figure and a hut and a coconut tree… then… just very recently, i have discovered so many wonderful gifts that the good Lord has blessed me with. i doodled… i had my kid’s sketch pad and crayons in my room. by some force, i took it from her a few days earlier and just left it lying around my room. while i was on the phone with him, and he was voicing out his current woes, i wanted to be there …right beside him. but since i knew that he would rather be alone, and i on the phone…. i wanted to send my love… so i doodled hearts… then… i just kept doodling the next day…

and i didn’t know how i did it, but i started doodling dreams, memories…. [that i cannot take photos of…] and it just sort of flowed…. my hands were floating like someone was doing all the strokes for me…

it feels so good! i used to think that it would take alot of miracle for me to draw. although a part of me always thought that if i can write… then i could also draw. there has got to be some way… then this is what i came to believe:

i believe that if we open our hearts to God’s wonders, nothing is impossible. My reunion with my first love is a miracle that all was well…. To feel the same feelings 15years ago…that has got to be the biggest miracle i have ever had in my life… God is simply amazing. and all the time when we have given up on ourselves, all we had to do is really just ask…with all our hearts… because we would be given it. I know in my heart, that all these pain sometimes… I have somewhat asked for this.

I prayed for wisdom and He leads me to the right books, articles, blogs…

i asked for inspiration. – He gives me heartbreaks and sends me back in time

I asked to know more of God,- He gives me miracles.

I asked to know more of myself and to push beyond my limits.- He lets me go beyond my “border”

I asked [and i dont mean to be disrespectful, by ask… i mean to pray…] ….i

asked that He show me how it is to live to the fullest and to reach for my full potential.- He sends me to the right people who i can learn something from and practice values— [i never thought i would have..lol]

I prayed –religously that I fulfill my purpose in this lifetime and find meaning in my life. — then with that… i am currenty praying for discernment. 🙂

and get this: i prayed last October 2011 that I may find the right person for me. who can dance with my soul and forever have and feel the bliss that would give us the inner peace having found each other and that would help me find my purpose and his as well. the person who gets me.. who is also as crazy as me but accepts me and gives me the freedom to be who we really are. and….BAM!!! after 3 days, like a slap on my face He led me to him.. HE led me back in time. and boy! am i too frustrating to love!!

I have my digital posters, dried flowers, photography, printabilities,

and the closest to my heart and soul…. my writing. and now…. doodling.

I know I can come up with something that I could put all these together soon. and i can almost feel that my dreams are finally coming to reality very very soon…. the book i have envisioned when i was young… is a very personal one. with hand drawn illustrations… and i guess that is probably why i have been putting it on hold, although i knew i was going that way… it still didnt feel right at the moment. but now… OMG!!! I am so freaking out because I know… it is really really near… I will know very very soon.. nevertheless, just playing it by ear and going with the flow,

ALL IS WELL WITH MY SOUL

OSHO

 

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love musings.


Amidst all the pain, I always know there is beauty behind it. All I know is that, little by little, things will finally fall into place. I believe that Love alone is enough to fight whatever battles we are faced with. When our hearts are closed, we almost forget everything else. We only think about our own desires, and maybe sometimes, we can’t help but feel a little sad, melancholy…. but that sadness is a welcome pain because then, I know that my heart is open. Continue reading

magical saturday in July.


its almost six in the morning…
on a beautiful saturday in July
but there is something i’ve been missing
and i cant help but let my heart fly
….soaring high in the sky
soaking wet from the raindrops that fall
melting from the love that i call.
Continue reading