from dusk till dawn.


the fire never dims…. if anything but
it will always spark only this time
it will be bottled within and….
waiting… time and again…
for both fire and ice to merge
and let their souls play
the melody that they sang for so long
like the evening sky
from dusk till dawn. Continue reading

moments.


I would love it so much if you take a break

And think of me and how much I ache

To spend as many moments we can have together

Even if we know that we will always have forever.
Continue reading

life is a paradox.


We spend our whole life searching

For our one true love

And we also have to accept our fate

That to wait forever is just never too late Continue reading

little voice.


I thought I had lived

I heard a silent scream inside

That I wasn’t really alive

And I might as well be dead.

Said a little voice inside my head. Continue reading

restless soul


 

♥♥♥

For so long now, I was misunderstood

Stereotyped, they never saw the good

Its not their fault, I never let them see

That somehow, I kept hidden the best in me.

Little did I know I was living a superficial lie

Dozens of earrings and purses cannot satisfy

Different shades of make up to cover my face

From the sadness I didn’t want to trace.

One would think I never really cared at all

Until one day, my world started to crumble

Only then did I realize that diamonds are never enough

It takes so more than that to make someone tough.

The days gone by and it turned to years,

I bought earrings to cover my ears…

I chose to ignore what my heart once said

Be your own person, or you’d rather be dead.

Change is good but leave some for yourself.

It won’t be healthy if you turn out to be someone else

But I chose to deny what my heart was crying out loud

It was deafening but I was just too proud..

We worked so hard to be with each other in the past

I thought nothing can ever come between us…

Little by little, the spark just somehow died

I was wrong not to listen to that nagging voice inside.

Even as I lay right next to you,

we seem so far apart

It wasn’t the same as it was from the start

How lost were we among our own desires;

That we forgot to fuel each other’s fires?

Too late now for the if only’s of the earth

 I cannot dwell on that coz I cannot find its worth

All we had to do was to sit down and have a talk

Or go out the backyard and take a little walk.

I wanted to save every little thing that was left of us

But I am not one to nag…

Although I should’ve asked

I became different from the one you were with

I was smiling outside but inside, I bleed.

It wasn’t only I who started to change.

If only I had the guts to tell you I find it strange

That we weren’t the same person we were before

Why was I too scared to ask?

I shouldn’t have ignored.

We fill in the void with worldly stuff

At the end of the day, it just wasn’t enough

We missed the trip, we missed the flight

We were so engrossed to see the light.

all these time, I was living a superficial life

I wasn’t made to be just a trophy wife

Day in, day out… I longed to be completely whole

It just wasn’t enough for my poor restless soul.

 

Tuesday, May 24, 2011 11:45 PM

instagramming.


i succumed to instagram craze!! new audience, reviews and viewers… lol.. for those who have. instagram… look me up.. truelovejunkie 🙂

20130311-034610.jpg
this used to be my bedroom… 🙂 now, its a multi purpose room .. tooke out the bed and replaced a big black couch where i love to sleep in.. 🙂 🎨🎼🎵🎶🚬📺🌞🌝🌚🌙🍻🍸🍖

20130311-034747.jpg
the serendipitious tweak. 🙂 🌀🎨🎨👏👏👏

20130311-034844.jpg
these two are the most precious gifts God gave me.. 🙂 👍👍👍💗💗

20130311-035031.jpg
just goofing around..🙅🌟😃

20130311-035120.jpg
my little indigo princess. (mishka)💜💜👑

20130311-035208.jpg
do you think we are old souls?💖💖

20130311-035252.jpg
yes.. they are definitely old souls.. :-)💙💜💕

20130311-035401.jpg
bubbly.🍭🍭

20130311-035447.jpg
in sync. 🌟💫👍❤💚💜💙💛

20130311-035610.jpg
back then when i was a rock star… 🙂 🎤🎹🎸🍸🍻

20130311-040056.jpg
five thirsty.🎼🎶🎵🍸🍷🍹🌅🌅

20130311-040146.jpg
barefoot while painting..👣👣👣🎨🎨

20130311-040232.jpg
i love your eyes.❤❤💄

20130311-040300.jpg
if you could see my eyes.🙈🙉🙊

20130311-040335.jpg
i dont want to be the bitch that i am.. but this photo was taken less than 2 weeks after a 175lbs of baggage was removed from my life. photo taken April 2011. :-)😏😏🏃🏃🏃🏃

i danced in the rain.



On a quiet Saturday afternoon, I watch the rain
Listening to the gushing sound in my window pane
I want to hold it dear… and embrace
And feel the raindrops falling on my face.

 It isn’t always gloomy when the clouds are grey
Rain seems to always wash away
And your heart now believes
As it cleanse dirt on the leaves.

 For every rain, there is something in store
Raindrops falling… same as before
Wind blowing leaves in all directions
Let it fly away… crashing in intersections.

 Rain only falls …. From up above to the ground
And yet no matter how strong it may sound
Play it in your ear and listen to nature’s music for once
Stop. Think. Close your eyes, feel it and dance.

 It seldom rains on a Saturday afternoon
Embrace the music and dance to the tune
There is nothing better than to feel
Raindrops on your face… so swift and still.

Never let this pass… the chance to know and feel the rain
Open your heart, your mind and for once be insane
Simple things, simple pleasures for my soul
To dance in the rain, it is never impossible to reach my goal.

Go out, and open your doors…
Rush to the road and gallop like a horse
Sway with the leaves and feel no shame
When you dance in the rain,
You won’t ever be the same.

 Raindrops hang on the balcony
Like little silver balls on a Christmas Tree
One start to fall from its place
Another one is falling… they leave but replaced.

 Rain is just one of life’s simple forms
To help us get pass our storms
Someda
y, one day soon… the world will know
How I danced in the rain…  Even in pain
Only then… I start to grow.

Falling down, getting back up, red petals and thorns
Raindrops and roses… Life’s little adorns
That’s how I knew I have lived when I found joy amidst the pain
A priceless experience as my heart borns…
A soul, a life… when I danced in the rain.

 

 72320111

truelovejunkie ©   

 

journey back to you.


journey back to you.

Everyday, we go through life

We wear a mask and live with strife

A make believe that we are real

Down to the core, down to what we feel.

But in moments of solitude,

Even when everything is the way it should

A silent whisper speaks to us

Saying… this is not gonna last

A whisper so silent, so brief yet serene

Has caused us to feel something within

Fear, hopelessness, sadness and fright

We live in a tunnel… hoping to catch a light.

But we give in only to fear

And ignore that one little whisper so clear

We put on the mask, again and again

Only to yearn what was way back when.

We journey back in time… back to our childhood

Memories that all was just too good

And the longing creeps in, and so we think

Those days are gone in just a blink.

The mask we wear would soon unveil

The yearning that we try so hard to scale

So we live a life that is masked and a lie

We live a life… but inside we die.

It is never too late to live a life filled with joy

It takes tremendous courage to leave our ploy

But if we step up and try to be true

We journey back… you journey back..

To the real you.

20120916-225251.jpg

crazy. beautiful.


20120911-111938.jpg

the wind gets crazy
but the field remains creamy
grasses that are calm and steady
greens that give the world such beauty.

the tiny fragments fly in the air
sometimes, life couldn’t be so fair
but all remains cool and i dare
dance while the breeze touch the skin i wear.

life is a dance
and love is the romance
i should never pass up this chance
to live a life… with the one i loved once.

love. the greatest driving force


In my secret haven…
I hid behind the shadows of yesterday
Myself… I have never given
The choice to let my heart lead the way. Continue reading

simplempleasures.,


its life’s simple pleasures
that gives us enough joy
beyond measures
to last a lifetime….

a walk on the beach,
a touch in the face,
a hand we could reach
a love that cant be erased.

the earth on our feet
a smile each time we meet
the glory of the morning sun
before the break of dawn

the sunsetas she kiss
the widest of the seas
it is indeed life’s simple pleasures
that warms our hearts..
and give us joy beyond measures.

20120825-040009.jpg

homecoming.


home is where the heart is…
i always used to think that where ever or whoever we love, we find our “home” there… our sense of belongingness.. but now i reslize that it has a different meaning.
we find our home, if we open our hearts to the truth of who we are. we are at home if we share love and not expect anything in return. we find contentment upon our hearts and acknowledge its desires. we never really get lost… our minds may wander through the entire time we feel disconnected…l but it is only essential that we feel lost to finally find our way back home. home is anywhere we want it to be. it is anywhere we wish to be… it is with anyone we want to share it with. family matters, but a heart who yearns ro be home will be home even if unsupported by those who we always thought to be supportive. but as the veil gets thinner and thinner, we begin to see that sometimes, those people who we have known althroughout our lives … make us feel less at home than before. and sometimes, we wonder too, how a stranger feels more comfortable than facing our own flesh and blood.

our hearts are filled with wonders that is more than enough to find our way back home… it isnot an easy bargain, but if we learn to let things go…. get past the control we try to leash…. the end results will be worth the price we pay…
home truly is where the heart is… because right there, is the door and we alone hold the key to open it and cross the line to love… where will eventually lead us closer to homecoming.

20120822-170652.jpg

BELIEVE IN YOUR OWN SUCCESS


BELIEVE IN YOUR OWN SUCCESS
source: HigherAwareness

“What you believe yourself to be, you are.”
— Claude M. Bristol

Do you believe, deep down inside of you, that you can succeed in what you want to do?

Beliefs are strong, and they have the power to attract what is believed to us. If we doubt our ability to succeed, if we in fact believe we WON’T succeed, then sure enough, that’s what will happen.

What do you believe about yourself? You have the power to change your beliefs, and that will change your outcome. Set goals you believe you can accomplish. Your beliefs will shape your actions. As you achieve these goals, you’ll begin to believe you are capable of succeeding and of doing even more.

“It is better to believe than to disbelieve; in so doing you bring everything to the realm of possibility.”
— Albert Einstein

“Believe it can be done. When you believe something can be done, really believe, your mind will find the ways to do it. Believing a solution paves the way to solution.”
— Dr. David Schwartz

Our process is clear. First ‘know yourself’ – your personality and direction in life. Then ‘create a plan’. Next ‘heal yourself and what holds you back. Then you can expand and ‘grow yourself’. Are you ready to commit to changing your life for the better?

I Am who i am.


20120815-042354.jpg

to not care what other people say….

we learn to live by our own rules….

and break the society’s.
even if people call you names,

the monent that we know ourselves,

is the very moment

that we give our hearts and soul

the power to live a joyful and glorious life.

—-not to mention the filled with L-O-V-E.

value.


20120815-041253.jpg

we don’t know what we’ve lost,
until we’ve lost it.

isn’t it sad when the day comes that you realize it is too late for you to take back everything you’ve taken for granted when they were there? we often fail to value what we have when we hAve it.. or them. the same with time… we waste it and in the end… waste it even more trying to recapture what is lost. when from the start, we could’ve prevented it from happening and try to take heed of the time and moments lost with them. life is too precious to waste it away. maybe if we only open our hearts, And not get too caught up in making our choices, then we would learn to keep all that is meant for us to all along….
but then, everything in life is a lesson. we always learn from past mistakes. and valuing our own hearts first is the key to keep all the thigs and the people in our lives forever. for if we lose something or someone we love, we lose a part of ourselves too.

10 Ways to Write a Life Story Worth Living


 

post written by: Marc

10 Ways to Write a Life Story Worth Living

 

10 Ways to Write a Life Story Worth Living

When writing the story of your life, don’t let someone else hold the pen.  Make conscious choices every day that align your actions with your values and dreams.  Because the way you live each day is a sentence in the story of your life.  Each day you make a choice as to whether the sentence ends with a period, a question mark, or an exclamation point.

How are you writing your life’s story?

Here are ten ideas for writing a life story worth living:

  1. Find a passion that makes you come alive. – Each new day is a blank page in the story of your life.  The secret is in turning that blank page into the best chapter you possibly can.  Don’t ask what the world needs.  Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it.  Because what the world needs, and what every great story has, are characters who have come alive in the pursuit of something that inspires them.

  2. Work hard on that passion. – The best dreams happen when you’re wide awake and working hard on something you’re passionate about.  A dream is your creative vision for your life in the future.  You must break out of your current comfort zone and become comfortable with the new and unfamiliar.  So dream big, pursue your passion, and give yourself permission to work toward a future you know you are capable of creating.  Read The 4-Hour Workweek
  3. Live happily in your own way. – You are not in this world to live up to the expectations of others, nor should you feel that others are here to live up to yours.  Pave your own unique path.  What success means to each of us is totally different.  Success to some may mean fancy cars and homes.  Success to others may mean being a good parent, spouse, or friend.  For others, it may mean to simply be happy.  Or it can be all of the above.  Remember, success is ultimately about spending your life happily in your own way.
  4. Change your path when you must, but keep moving forward. – There are thousands of possible paths one could take up the mountain of life.  You get to choose which one you take, and you can jump from one path to another if you run into a hazardous road block.  All of these paths are unique, but lead in a similar general direction, so it really doesn’t matter which path you start off on.  The only mistake you can make is by wasting time running around at the base of the mountain, telling everyone that your life path is wrong.
  5. When the going gets tough, keep fighting. – The wisest, most loving, well rounded people you have met are likely those who have known failure, known defeat, known suffering, and have found their way out of the depths of their own despair.  These people have experienced many ups and downs, and have gained an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, understanding, and a deep loving concern.  People like this aren’t born; they develop slowly over the course of a lifetime.  Read The Road Less Traveled.
  6. Let go of the past and live consciously in the present. – Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.  The past is a good place to visit on occasion, but not a great place to stay.  Don’t sit around trying to relive or change your past when you have priceless moments unfolding in front of you and your entire future to look forward to.
  7. Embrace new ideas, lessons, and challenges. – Sometimes growing up means growing apart from old habits, relationships, and situations, and finding something new that truly moves you.  There is nothing more wonderful than seeing life as an adventure.  You should try things that you’re afraid of.  You should look very clearly into the unknown and enjoy it.  Because when you come in contact with things that you don’t know, that’s when you’re learning, growing, and truly living.
  8. Appreciate the little things in life that mean a lot. – What if you woke up tomorrow with only the things you were thankful for today?  Think of all the beauty that remains around you, and be happy.  Be thankful for all the small things in your life, because when you put them all together you will see just how significant they are.  Remember, it’s not happiness that makes us grateful, but gratefulness that makes us happy.  Read The Happiness Project.
  9. Live honorably through kindness. – If you live honorably, no matter how old you get, you’ll never lose your beauty; it will just gradually shift from your face to your heart.  And remember, there is no better exercise for the heart than reaching out and holding the hand of someone in need.

  10. Spend quality time with people you love. – Lost time is never found again.  People don’t live forever.  Appreciate what you have, who loves you and who cares for you.  You’ll never know how much they mean to you until the day they are no longer beside you.  Spend lots of quality time with the people you love.  Someday you will either regret not doing so, or you will say, “I’m glad I did.”

 

money on trees at the end of the rainbow.


they say theres a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow… but what if, there was a pot of gold, and trees that bear money as fruits? wouldnt that be the coolest? i decided to draw this…. because almost everyone i talked to the past fee weeks is a little short on cash… who isn’t? yeah, me too…. so the thing is… if had — WHEN i get my money (universe conspire) to pay for my projects, i know i would share it ….hey, what little i have, i share …. which is funny coz i have alot of collectibles but never have the guts to collect,…
what is that about,???

anyway.. just a little tidbit for those who are constantly trying to make ends meet…. it is possible. if only we commune with nature, and use out hidden resources, somehow the problems just dissolve on their own. money is everyone’s problem.. we can help each other with that… the rest kf our woes are basically issues. 🙂

Happy hunting everyone… and share your blessings… 🙂

20120807-170641.jpg

lift.


when we love, we love without conditions.
we give whatever we can
because that’s where our light comes from.
it doesnt diminish us
even if we’ve been hurt in the past
because when we give, dont forget
there wont be any regret.
when time comes that we’ve been lifted up
be thankful for all that you got
and when someday, they realize
how much fire in your eyes
that they light up the world…
with your treasured heart of gold.
the pain, we lose
the lessons we keep…
and love again…
to be able for us to lift.

—–
when you love someone. there are no need for words.. when they left. know its not about you. its about them. there are just things that needs to be taken care of. and when they come back, and you’ve gone far…. the only way to go higher… is to help …. and lift them up…

forever.


08032012
my dearest love,

this is me and you
in timeless love and life
we laugh at the journey
that started with strife…
but when love and forever
was all we had to remember
…..
love is the only reason
why we breathe so much passion
and yet as calm as the sea
peaceful as the valley
and flowing as the river are we
when you and i are together…
our world become so much brighter…
….
this is you and i in timelessness
this is you and me….
in one of the thousand sunsets
that together we will blissfully
share in the days to come…
you and me… together
…. love has the power
for us to have this altogether
and live it forever….

you will always be my one and only love.
forever yours ,
-me

life-time.


time is too precious to spend it on meaningless moments…
life is too short to talk about other people’s lives…
use it wisely and live it to the fullest…
surely we can do better than that. 😉

……

lighthead.


i’ve been feeling very lightheaded and intoxicated the past few days.. couple of weeks. especially after drawing and writing about it. i literally float out of my body and could fly… one person said she could feel my inner peace through my drawings… and she knows i am grounded. i told her that yes, internally, my cup is so full that it is overflowing and the only way to keep filling it up is through sharing it with others…. i am loved and i am a loving person. i am blessed with a good heart and kindness that i wish to impart with others. i may have cut ties and burned bridges the previous weeks but now i know that they were essential to my journey because they hinder me from my growth. i wish they would understand that sometimes it takes a lot to be a part of my life and if i feel being cornered and judged, i cannot allow that in my life.
other than that, i am a person. first and foremost and i am intoxicatingly enjoying every minute of my extraordinary journey of the life that i chose to live. a magical and seriously way out of this world life that i cannot put my two cents on. it simply just is ….

life is great.love is all that i could ever need and i know, He up there is doing everything He can to get me through where i needed to be, to do …

life simply is anything but ordinary. but in order to live a very extraordinary life, we have to give up alot of things that make it ordinary. give up alot of people that make life mundane. i firmly believe in my heart and soul that we were brought here for a higher cause and not just to do ordinary stuff and be secure and yet still be unhappy and discontented… and disconnected..

life rocks! big time… and it rocks even more when you have love inside your heart. 🙂

 

dive.


20120804-135149.jpg

life can be
a little close to formality
that we cannot
live alot.
shed off some skin
and rebel from what is seen
to be right even if
it may cause some rift
as long as you go for the shift.
…..
the shift to be higher
and stronger than you
to unleash all your power
to be nothing but true.
freedom to love and to create
the love that people love to berate
let it go and just be
true to your core
regardless of the freakin’ formality
they didn’t know there is so much more….
take the plunge… do the dive
let it go… be sooo alive.

catching up.


20120803-021754.jpg

when we were young,
all we wanted was to grow up
it was a song the heart sang
and it never stopped.
and now that we’ve grown
we live a life we’ve never known….
we meet people an lose them
others we keep, some we grow apart
but the best friends we’ll always keep
are the ones who touched us too deep..
———

playing with abundance.


20120802-095339.jpg

the art of gratitude
brings us steadfast gifts
and life is all good
as we sail on our ships.
we learn to take the chance
and play with abundance
how precious life is
if we look with our hearts
we only have inner peace
the way its meant to be from the start.

life is all that we love
and to love would be a gift from above
little do we know
slowly, we start to grow
life’s magic lights and manifests
only our hearts can see how we are blessed
and so we smile and learn each day
we sing and we grasp on the chance
for us to grow… each step of the way
as we all learn to play…. with abundance.

dad and son.


20120802-010501.jpg

when you were a tot
you used to love going up
on my shoulders and you laugh
you melt my heart and it was enough.

we will fish and play pool
one day soon… when its all cool
we will walk along the beach
where we couldnt be reached.

lets make up for the lost time,
if only i had a dime
each time i think of you
everyday that you grew.

……..

daddy’s girl.


20120801-210850.jpg

my little angel…
daddy loves you so
may you always be well
whereever you go.
i love you so much
when you came into the world
you have touched
my heart… a treasure like gold…

i will always protect you
and support whatever you do
you are free to be who you are
whether near or far…

and if one day, yourheart may break
always remember that it will make
you even a much better person
and you will be so strong
to face any strife when you start
…..always remember…
that you are always blessed…
with a good heart.

20120801-223323.jpg

making over our partners.


from The DailyOM

July 31, 2012
Making Over Our Partners
Changing the Way We Relate
by Madisyn Taylor

It is dishonest to enter into a relationship with the idea that you are going to change or fix them.

A relationship, in the truest sense of the word, means relating to another. Usually when we say that we relate to someone, it is because we’ve found common ground. But part of relating is finding ways to make ideas that seem different come together. So often when we choose relationships, we try to fit another person into our predetermined ideal. When they don’t fit perfectly, we may try to make them over, creating our own vision from the raw material they’ve brought. But unless someone asks for guidance and direction, entering into a relationship with someone we want to change is dishonest. Then our relationship becomes with someone we’ve imagined, and anytime our partner steps outside of that imaginary projection, we will be disappointed. An honest relationship is one in which we accept each other as whole individuals, and find a way to share our life experiences together. Then, whenever we want, we can choose as a couple to give the relationship a makeover by renewing the ! way we interact.

By wanting to give another person a makeover, we are basically saying we don’t accept them for who they are. If we take a moment to imagine the roles reversed, we can get a sense of how it would feel if our beloved only committed to us because they thought we were, or would become, someone else entirely. In such an environment, we are not relating to each other from a real place, and we are keeping ourselves from being able to learn and grow from the different viewpoints that our partners offer.

If we feel that a change is needed in our relationship, the only makeover that we truly have the power to make is on ourselves. By accepting our partners for exactly who they are—the ideal and the not-so-ideal—we will create an energetic shift in our relationships, and we may find ourselves really appreciating our partners for the first time. Working from within, we determine how we relate to the people and the world around us, and when we can accept it and embrace it all, without conditions, we make every act of relating a positive one.
Making Over Our Partners
Changing the Way We Relate
by Madisyn Taylor

It is dishonest to enter into a relationship with the idea that you are going to change or fix them.

A relationship, in the truest sense of the word, means relating to another. Usually when we say that we relate to someone, it is because we’ve found common ground. But part of relating is finding ways to make ideas that seem different come together. So often when we choose relationships, we try to fit another person into our predetermined ideal. When they don’t fit perfectly, we may try to make them over, creating our own vision from the raw material they’ve brought. But unless someone asks for guidance and direction, entering into a relationship with someone we want to change is dishonest. Then our relationship becomes with someone we’ve imagined, and anytime our partner steps outside of that imaginary projection, we will be disappointed. An honest relationship is one in which we accept each other as whole individuals, and find a way to share our life experiences together. Then, whenever we want, we can choose as a couple to give the relationship a makeover by renewing the ! way we interact.

By wanting to give another person a makeover, we are basically saying we don’t accept them for who they are. If we take a moment to imagine the roles reversed, we can get a sense of how it would feel if our beloved only committed to us because they thought we were, or would become, someone else entirely. In such an environment, we are not relating to each other from a real place, and we are keeping ourselves from being able to learn and grow from the different viewpoints that our partners offer.

If we feel that a change is needed in our relationship, the only makeover that we truly have the power to make is on ourselves. By accepting our partners for exactly who they are—the ideal and the not-so-ideal—we will create an energetic shift in our relationships, and we may find ourselves really appreciating our partners for the first time. Working from within, we determine how we relate to the people and the world around us, and when we can accept it and embrace it all, without conditions, we make every act of relating a positive one.

ever after.


20120731-221446.jpg

and so she cries
so silently that even she
couldnt hear and lies
so no one would see.
to have alot and yet
still feel so empty
blaming others she regrets
the sadness from her own misery.
taunting others for being happy
judgement arised so endlessly
how she thinks… its just too devious
so well she hid…
her motives werent too obvious.
a princess. she will never be
because her heart is made of steel
they just feel sorry
that she couldnt even reveal.
her real feelings and jealousy
of something that she never got to be
a princess, a love, a memory
of what life has to offer
squared and boxed
masking deceptions matter….
to be real or not to be..
all about an ever after.

i am.


20120731-130408.jpg

i am loved. i have love
i have everything blessed from above
joy that i cannot hoard
so i try to spread it all over the world.
the world that i am sitting on
will live forever long after i’m gone.
this is all too real…
i laugh, i cry.. and i feel
i know love is all we could ever have
and there arent enough words…
with love…
i am sitting on top of the world.

——
our world babeee…. 😉

swing back the love.


we were the happiest when we didn’t have a care in the world all we were was love then and our hearts were filled with gold. we laugh our hearts out security and sureness we never doubt and so we … Continue reading

cutting ties, burning bridges…settling down.


sometimes it’s sad when we are forced to cut old ties. we hang on to memories, dreams and aspirations we created in the past… but as one start to journey ahead than the others, and they misunderstand new views, philosophies and beliefs, judgement arises and those people who we thought to be true  start to show their true colors and voice out their thoughts on how we are supposed to live our own lives from their viewpoint. i think one basically have to respect each other. friends cross the line and when we voice out OUR own thoughts, they resent it. its a sad day when we realize that at the end of the day, we can choose who to keep in our lives and who to remove. burning bridges is but anything but an easy one to do… but maybe, those bridges haven’t stood on solid foundation for quite sometime. and as we journey to a new and better life that awaits us to be better and stronger and wiser than who we once were, we realize that the bridge has been long tattered before it got burned… maybe one day, we may need to cross that bridge, …when they are ready to cross the new bridge we have made, one that is based on truth, honesty, respect and most importantly, unconditional love… when we start over, when we try something new… it is hard for friends to understand how we have come to be… they say it is not us. it is not who we are. but as we shed more and more skin, we show them who we really are. the one who feels right for us… it is uncomfortable to them because they have always assumed that inspite of everything, we would still remain the same.

a change in our situation arises us to change too. we hit rock bottom, and when we emerge and rise above all the chaos in our lives with very little care of what people may think, in disbelief, they make assumptions on how we view the things that doesn’t meet their standards. arguments arise and when they begin to understand a little of what we are TRULY made of, they tell you….”YOU ARE NOT THIS PERSON…” but when we know who we really are, you begin to wonder… How are they supposed to know me when they know so little of themselves? We justify because we want to keep them in our lives and when we try harder… “YOU ARE WEIRD” is all that you get. isn’t it funny when you just tell them, “i know… if you don’t like me because i’m weird, you can stop being my friend… ” …we will only know how much we can love when we allow others to be weird… for all i care… i love the weirdness in everyone.

maybe for now, i think it is essential that i burn the old, worn, tattered bridge… i am building a new one. and maybe one day, when old friends have come to accept me for who i really am, free of judgement and is able to be brutally honest with me… and simply for the reason that the real me emerging from the box [or shell…] is not the same from the ones they have gotten used to… i will be at the other end.

the old me, is from my old life. the life where everything is laid out the minute i wake up and the minute i go to a sleepless night. the old life where everything is in place, on the right track [for them] ….where no worries to face and without the courage to face the hard ugly truth about the life that we chose… the old me, whom they used to have lunch with and use other people for dessert or entertainment. the old me who would snoop on other people’s lives in facebook and endlessly find something to do… to stall the facing of my own issues… (the issue of having everything but have none ….) because it is always easier to talk about other people, tell them how to run their lives than to face our own and control our own lives. {thinking….simply weird because i began to speak my own truth….because i can dismiss them when it doesn’t feel right anymore…}

people come into our lives for a reason. when it is time to part with them, just hold them close in our hearts… when we burn bridges, it doesn’t mean we can’t make a newer one.. it simply just means that we will wait for them to out grow the familiar. to be cutting ties with them…. doesn’t mean something is wrong with them… it just simply means that we only wish to be with the people who uplifts our soul, give us positive vibes, and NOT LIMIT ourselves because they refuse to EXPLORE. there is a big world out there… bigger than the places in the map… and that is our hearts…

my life may seem chaotic on the outside… but rest assured… ALL IS WELL WITH MY SOUL. and I AM living the the magic of abundance. because I have cultivated who I AM intended to be… All needs being met. I may not have that much money to shop than what I was used to but when all I can do is wonder: HOW DID IT COME TO THE POINT WHERE I DO NOT EVEN HAVE THE DESIRE TO SHOP? I would rather sit in my favorite corner the whole day, draw and write and lay out my book. When told that all they want to do is help, i simply tell them… “i have money issues. that is all… when i had a lot, i didn’t know what to do with it, now that i have enough, i don’t know how to manage and stick to my budget… but other than that, it seems like i always have a little more than enough till the next alimony… and smile…” the only problem a person can have that is easiest to help is financial… other than financial…. it is simply called ISSUES. because it keeps coming back, and WE GOTTA FACE IT.

i cut ties, burned already a broken down bridge… and am settled down… WITH MYSELF.

=====

just musing out. after making a very irrational and illogical decisions on cleaning up my facebook. the Lord knows what I yearn. He simply delievers it so fast i can barely grasp everything that i ever thirst for in my life. HE SIMPLY ROCKS.

—-

we promised to be friends forever. i am sure about that promise. but in order for that promises to be real, we have to do this…

PS.

i just woke up from my nap and impulsively cut ties.

 

 

discerned.


a few days ago, i was trying to figure out what to do with the gifts i am blessed with. i had a hard time figuring it out. i cannot start with the UNMASKED project because that is alread the … Continue reading

quenched.


 

i feel like i am living in a fast paced life. all the things that i should have been all throughout… i am living it now. i have a life. i am living who i am born to be. finding meaning and waiting for the GO SIGNAL from someone up there to fulfill my purpose. He sends the right people my way… People I learn from. People who shifts my soul to the right direction and finally… the person who drives my soul to go the extra mile and be who I AM.

the BAD GIRL with A GOOD heart.

sometimes, we tend to do the right thing. even if it doesnt feel right. because it diminishes our light… our life… our living to our best potential. it cuts our growth, we don’t learn to live and we cling on to our own safety. even if my life seem to be imperfectly chaotic… what is important, in my point of view is that… to quote Deepak Chopra, Dalai Lama, Buddha and the likes…. true test of inner peace when the external may seem chaotic… we remain still and accept it.

at the end of the day.. we still thirst in the midst of the PERFECT imperfect life. but that thirst is quenched if we stand tall.. in the midst of an IMPERFECT perfect life. 🙂
thank You Lord for quenching my thirst.