just not the same.

its just not the same anymore…
the silence kills me to my very core
and i shake and i tremble like thunder
i miss you…
screams my heart with such fervor. Continue reading


Piercing the quiet

This gallery contains 19 photos.

practice sketches. Week 3. ♡ ♥ ♡

Letting go


I never had a problem letting go
But now i seem to hold on
To what was never mine to start with
When i turned my back for so long.
And now i cant do anything right anymore
I keep holding on like waves washed ashore
I let myself believe that i was strong enough
To allow myself to face what i denied my heart
I thought running away would make me tough
In the end…i start falling apart.

Why i didnot see this coming i was blind
From the truth that i crushed and left behind
And now i am faced with this excruciating pain
That i allowed my heart to kiss in vain.
I flee in the past…and i ignored you to death
Not because i wanted to… but because i was too scared
And now as the wheels have turned
I scream your name and bared
My heart and my soul and all that i am
You were the one thing i ran away from
I fear so much inside each time we almost kissed
I fear so much…because of this…

You made me taste my own medicine
It is neither sweet and tasty…
Nothing in between
But the bitterness i detest willfully
Because of the yearning that you left me with
I cannot part all that you made me taste
And still i cannot bring myself to feel with haste.
Because i can never feel otherwise
Even if it may lead me to my own demise
I would still hold a special place for you
In the center of my heart…
Where the pain burned right through
From your heart to mine… and now i start
To think of you dearly and wistfully
I might shed a tear and still know
That what we could have been…
What i hold on to… i am finally letting go.


♡ ♥ ♡

couldve been.

I cannot explain
How much pain
I feel inside my heart
Like its been ripped apart.
Thoughts of what couldve been
Hold me close in between
Cries of anguish and sorrow
From what we could be tomorrow
But you just stopped calling
And i couldnt stop myself from falling
Than i thought i ever could
And i never really understood
How i let my heart slip away
From something i ran away from
And then one day
What i fear…it has become.
I ran away because i got scared
From the beating of my heart
When you and i have shared
Silent moments right from the start
But we never had the perfect time
To commit the perfect crime
For fear that my heart would break
Because i cannot calculate
How much i would feel for you
I might give it all …and it is the wrong thing to do

And i was so right
But the day came and i could no longer fight
I was left without a choice
I had to take the leap
When i heard my own voice
That it may not be too steep.
Now left alone…
With the pain i have never known
The only constant reminder
Of the friendship that forever
Stained and betrayed my heart
When it hoped to start
To feel the love that you held back
To give you the love that
Only i can give…
Like a memory from a dream
That i have forseen
The pain i hold close like a second skin
Envelopes me with the memory
….as i remember all that couldve been.




♡ ♥ ♡

three of a kind.

boredom leads to great ideas… i have always been hard headed. i wouldnt even want to take art lessons because i know i wouldnt be able to absorb the teachers words… (not unless he is da vinci?) … lol…. but i read tips. and i was fascinated with ipmasto and textured canvas so i read and made do what what i have.. (at 3 in the morning… and limited supplies…. hahaha…

remember the dried flowers phase? 🙂 well, its been sitting around the closet ar too long with twigs and dried weeds (not the kind you smoke,. ) well… here it is.. i have finally finally been able to incorporate painting, poetry and dried flowers!!!! (i have yet to practice writing using a paintbrush…but you’ll pretty much guess the idea of a love poem on canvas…. wish me luck and keep the creative juices flowing!!!! 🙂





art rocks!!!! :-)🍸

serendipitious tweak.

i had a canvas made for a landscape and then, changged my mind. so instead,i places a masking tape in the center… i painted the swirls.. lovers kissing and holding hands in the air or somethign….


i covered it up when i started on the other half… first i made a nude, cover it up, then the story book world.. and probably covered it 3 times… finally, i decided to turn it upside down coz rhe lower part of the canvas is acceptable.. lol…
so i did the hot hatter… (pardon the splatters on the walls. 🙂


finally, when im done.. i took off the covered part and loved what i saw…





welcome to my world!! 🙂


story book world.. not finished yet but i covered it up.. 🙂


red. i got inspired by a friend who made the mahjong character red his profile pic in facebook… 🙂


i currently have a thing for red wide brimmed straw hats lately.. 🙂 it drove me crazy the whole week. it consumed my thoughts and nobody can talk to me for a time coz i was so obsessed with painting a hat to my liking. 🙂 gosh… i think i finally have an explanation of my craziness. lol


sometimes a heartbreak is louder than a beating drum.


practicing shading now… and boy do i not suck? 🙂


i tried to make a hot chic but my heart and my soul wanted otherwise. it turned out ar first that he kinda looked like my late grandfather but it scared me and so i tried to tweak it.. he was so easy to draw.. 🙂


tweaked version.

hot hatter.
and we’re back to the hats.

martini and wings.



i dream of roses.


i dream of you
i dream of a place
inside my mind
i cant see your face.

i dream of you
i dream of me
i cannot tell
i cannot see.

i dream of you
i dream of places
where you and i
love and dream of roses.

are you ready for summer love?



slip into my mind.


come. take a peek
into my mind.

in my solitude.

i cherish the time when i am alone.. there is nothing to do but do as i please. this weekend, i barely got out, after taking my so. and his gf to the airport, my daughter also went for a weekend with his dad… i reliah the moment having the whole house to myself.. 🙂
and this is what i did… 🙂





the moon isnt done yet.. 🙂


60 ways to make life simple again


When we were young life was easier, right? I know sometimes it seems that way. But the truth is life still is easy. It always will be. The only difference is we’re older, and the older we get, the more we complicate things for ourselves.

You see, when we were young we saw the world through simple, hopeful eyes. We knew what we wanted and we had no biases or concealed agendas. We liked people who smiled. We avoided people who frowned. We ate when we were hungry, drank when we were thirsty, and slept when we were tired.

As we grew older our minds became gradually disillusioned by negative external influences. At some point we began to hesitate and question our instincts. When a new obstacle or growing pain arose, we stumbled and a fell down. This happened several times. Eventually we decided we didn’t want to fall again, but rather than solving the problem that caused us to fall, we avoided it all together.

As a result, we ate comfort food and drank alcohol to numb our wounds and fill our voids. We worked late nights on purpose to avoid unresolved conflicts at home. We started holding grudges, playing mind games, and subtly deceiving others and ourselves to get ahead. And when it didn’t work out, we lived above our means, bought things we didn’t need, and ate and drank some more just to make ourselves feel better again.

Over the course of time, we made our lives more and more difficult, and we started losing touch with who we really are and what we really need.

So let’s get back to the basics, shall we? Let’s make things simple again. It’s easy. Here are 60 ways to do just that:

Life is not complex. We are complex. Life is simple,
and the simple thing is the right thing.
– Oscar Wilde

Continue reading

truelovejunkie collection.

This gallery contains 9 photos.

may love find you where ever you go… 🙂 Continue reading

top of the world.


screaming silently.
at the TOp oF thE worLd.

acrylic on canvas


the place where only you and me will ever be…. YOU & ME.

acrylic on paper.

forget the world.


If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me
And just forget the world?


feeling whimsy.

this was supposed to be my mother and child… and it turned out to be sort of a self portrait… the mother is a child… its refreshing to tap in to our inner child once in a while… 🙂

i guess ive had enough of nudity…. lol… 🙂

have a whimsday…..


outside looking in.


once in a while
we search for something.
from the outside.
looking in.

the seduction continues.



the art of seduction












wide awake,
i can see the perfecr sky is torn.


contradiction. (sold)


rock me, my darling.


step out of the box.







s p l a t!

and the adventure continues… trying to step a little bit more outside the box…. 🙂

Circling the Wagons.

Circling the Wagons
Surrounding with Protective Light

by Madisyn Taylor

As we join our energy with those in circle, we become part of something that is more powerful than the individuals within it.

There are times when we may know of someone who is in great need and wants help, but we may feel at a loss about how best to help them. It is at such times that we can ask for help in surrounding them with support and protection, just like the pioneers once circled their wagons in the middle of unknown territory. Whether this means turning to an already established community such as a service organization or gathering support from diverse sources, a group of people can be brought together to help an individual or an entire community. It doesn’t always take money to help someone either–cooking, cleaning, driving, fund raising, or offering emotional support are all valuable and have the added benefit of the closeness of the human touch. In any case, the universe sends angels in the form of willing friends or strangers to gather their individual lights to surround those in need with the warmth of compassion.

Some people may have difficulty accepting or even recognizing aid when it appears in unexpected guises from unlikely sources. All we can do is to follow our inner guidance, give when we are moved to do so and shine our light to the best of our ability. As we join our energy with those in the circle, we become part of something that is larger and more powerful than the individuals within it.

When we act as part of a community of service like this, we are reminded that we are not only assisting an individual or select group in the moment, but we are serving the greater good. We are creating a better world, and can rest assured that help will be there for us as well. As we offer our own light to the collective glow to help someone through a time of darkness, all of our lights become brighter. We can live every day from this place of light, knowing the freedom from fear and worry that allows us to receive and share the protective and supportive light of life.

being adventurous… on canvas.

im known to do crazy stuff all my life. but i was scared to do abstract art. when i did my 2 amateur abstract painting, it is because i got bored. i encouraged my friend to paint a beautiful painting (her first) and her work became my guinea pig. being all encouraging and all but at the same time experimenting.. so i did too my own splatter after.. sure beats boredom!! 🙂



and this is april’s first work on canvas.. oh how she live for music!! 🙂




soul scape.

if only i can
show them that man
can always find
through their state of mind.

i may not be heard,
they may not believe
that inner peace is
a vista of bliss.

times may change,
other times it may seem strange
how men could berate
the portrait…
of one’s soulscape.