real love vs. naive love


by: John Gray

One of the biggest mistakes we make in our relationships is the expectation of our partner to be perfect. And part of how we fall into that is when we fall in love, it seems like our partners are perfect. And we’re set up that way, to see the good first. And so we fall in love with them. And then we start seeing the mistakes. The deficiencies, the inadequacies. And that’s when we need to come back to finding the love within our hearts. And because that’s what real love is. And actually it is throughout many many years of being in a relationship with my wife, for over 24 years, that I’ve found real love. It’s as though my heart’s been broken several times. But it’s when you come back and forgive your partner. And you’re falling in love again with someone who you’ve seen their mistakes, they’ve let you down, they’ve disappointed you and you’re able to fully open your heart to that person again. That’s what real love is. Naïve love is when someone’s perfect and we love them. And there’s nothing wrong with that. When someone seems perfect, it’s good to love them. But what trains us in our ability to find real love, lasting love, is the ability to find forgiveness for their mistakes.

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