discernment.


 

i am currently loving all the unexpected gifts i am blessed with. i know this has got to take me somewhere — big. but… lately, i keep discovering all these wonders inside that lay dormant for years and i feel like there is still so much in store for me. i also feel that the realisation of my dreams is really near. how to go about it, i don’t know… i just ride with the tide, i don’t drive. sometimes, it can be frustrating but nevertheless, surprisingly calm. even if the external aspect of my life isn’t as peaceful as it should be… [ i could totally say — true test of peace…]

i am a multitasker. and if there is one thing i like… it is mixing and fixing everything altogether in one. so… i made a list of my “gifts” and the not so wanted character. i like the production part better… it is actually the managing slash routine that is dreadful to me.

for the book – i know that is where i am heading… only i am still not getting the right signal for that. in my heart, that is where i am truly headed. for my ego, i wish to make a big bang explosion when i am launching it… that is my soul. and that is me NAKED in front of everyone. until such time. the timing isn’t ripe yet. it is meant to help others with self improvement, empowerment,….. too much info. :–)

for the dried flowers: i have learned patience, — and the theme of my life: finding beauty in all that is not. so that is also part of me. i like the “vintage-y” feel around. i like all things classic, romantic, ….makes me remember all that i wish to be in..

posters: that is left brain and right brain with my self improvement student and frustrating friend i wish to rise above all the experiences she went through… which is the same as mine. but have not gotten around to it. oh but how she makes me “human” sometimes…. its just a matter of time, and we will combine our “charm” to make something really out of this world in our own little world ….
gosh sabrina— hurry up and ascend a D higher please! let’s rock their world!

printabilities: oh, my only window to creativity when i was with my husband… gift tags and calling cards.

photography: i bought a camera to source out my “window” when i was with my husband. -believe you me, i couldn’t write a decent poem until our beloved pet died. and since i didn’t know i could MAKE pictures then, i decided to take them. probably also because i would rather take pictures because i am supposed to be lighter by a 100lbs. and how i used to love my pictures taken when i was 100lbs lighter… [yeah…vanity is my favorite sin] – but to justify that –  i used to love myself from OUTSIDE IN.

doodles/drawing: this is actually the best thing to ever happen to me— for now. because never in my wildest dream i could draw! i am so ecstatic. i used to visualize my book when i was little that the pictures were hand-drawn. but instead opted for photographs since its too impossible for me to have to draw it. nevertheless, wow…. it is all coming together now. 🙂

cooking: i do small orders from friends and yes, i too can cook. anything!
— except pastries…. too much rules for me. and i can’t break it. and it has to be timed at a certain degree… oh — i can’t do it. NOT YET i suppose.

——-

so basically, i need extra help in prayers for discerning what it really is. this is what is mind boggling. i know my purpose. i know the end of it all. it is just basically to be able to give hope to non believers of true love.. and each one of us… we start within ourselves. and when we have learn to love ourselves, we can sit quietly with ourselves… we love our own company…. and when we can finally sit quietly alone, then true love can peacefully be with us. [lets face it, if we can’t be alone with ourselves, if we dislike our own company…. what makes us think others can too?]
it is just a matter of time. i am blessed with deep knowing and clear seeing (even if at times i challenge it, it smacks me right in front of my face… oh, that is probably why we both kept saying let us work on ourselves. ] ohhh!!! NOW…. [another aha moment!]

its a labyrinthine life i am living and i cannot wait to be in the center. 🙂 with HIM and him.

 

—-

Prayer:

Thank You Lord for making my life worth living. For helping me find meaning and making me see our purpose very clearly. i ask You not to shield me from any chances that may make me grow and be the best i can be but to give me strength and make me UNSHAKEABLE to rock their worlds for the better….

Continue to bless my kids with such understanding of the whole situation and let them open their hearts to know YOU more too.. and give their lives meaning and purpose too.

Lead me to the right people to know that i am headed in the right direction…. and I am grateful for all the random grace that You continually make me see. LEt me ROCK this life to Your liking. 🙂 coz YOU rock.

and let him lead with his heart through your wisdom. and make him FEARLESS too. 🙂 and believe in himself the way he does with me and the way i do with him. 🙂

PS. i hope you don’t mind that i hardly hear mass.

 

 

 

 

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5 thoughts on “discernment.

  1. You could definitely see your skills in the work you write. The arena hopes for even more passionate writers such as you who are not afraid to say how they believe. All the time go after your heart.

  2. Thank you for the pingback True Love and for sharing your focus so honestly, good you realised there was more in life then not being able to make pastry, mine goes like rubber, they say the secret is in the rolling, my scones are like golf balls or as hard as a rock. Oh well there are more important things in life as you said, like wanting to be with God with all our heart, soul, and being, until we do we can’t really Love ourselves or others, it’s just make believe without a real foundation and so it falls down, yes we can image or pretend there is something there but it’s empty as well.

    Christian Love from both of us – Anne

    • that is so true. all we have to do is just ask with all our hearts. every day for as long as i can remember all i prayed was :thank u for another day… u know the desires of my heart… i dont ….” and He gives it freely. 🙂
      He does rock up there. just an expression of praaise. 🙂
      🙂

  3. Pingback: discernment. ? truelovejunkie | Description of a Best Friend

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