1st May 2012
My Dearest Love,
i thought by this time somehow
my yearning wouldve subside
but each and everynight i still
keep wishing you were here by my side.
sometimes i just try to forget
and try to find some things to do
and to myself i make a bet
if you yearn for me the way i do.
i try so hard to get past this
but there are days when i
long for a moment of peace
with you and so i try…
to make the days go by
faster than it already is
have it fast forward to the day
when you and i will share such sweet kiss.
my heart is crying out for you
day and night… there isn’t much i can do
to try to stop yearning and hoping
but i haven’t got a clue.
i know its wrong for me to question
how everything has come to now
i guess there are just things that are meant to happen
so that it’ll be different
fromt the way it was then.
the love we have has always been there
i never ever tried to question that
i should be happy and be more content
to finally know who God has sent.
its just the yearning that is killing me
how i want to hold you and touch your face
and yet i have already come to love the agony
as i revel on the memory of your embrace.
sometimes i want to sleep…
because you are always in my dreams….
but when i wake up, it hurts so deep
that nothing is ever as it seems.
must we love and suffer and love even more?
every beat of my heart… is that what i am living for
i have no reason to curse and praise time
but my heart i lay on the line.
how is this that i cannot win
the battle that i fight within?
my mind tells me to go and just be
but my heart and soul is pulling you back to me
asking me and begging.. to wait patiently.
just like what you said once before….
a long time ago…. i should’ve waited a little bit more
but i cannot bear to face another day and night
of yearning and missing you ….
its a battle that i just cant fight.
in the morning when the day breaks….
i put back on my little charade
to hide the truth… of how my heart aches
to love you more is the only price i paid.
when you are away from me….
day and night…. do you think how i would be?
i see you looking right through me…
when i close my eyes….
my heart beats its silent cries.
does it ever make you wonder too?
how a heart, not broken in two
could hurt so much like crazy
and still find comfort in you and me.
we love so much… and we long to touch
we love and yet it hurts so bad …..
to have found each other once again
and share the love we’ve always had….
but couldnt seem to have the perfect time
for the love that is so divine…
and yet… we somehow just finally learn
to seek solace from the love
we’ve always had when we yearn…
how long must we suffer in love ?
how long must we find in all that we have
when apart is the most painful thing
that everyday… i try to just begin
…. coping with the sweet pain
and keep wishing to share moments with you
the way we used to under the rain.
i really wish i can make my heart even for just a second
…try to be still and learn to just accept
everything there is for me to …..
and just learn to not think of you.
i dont even wish to forget
because then my mind would beset
my deepest longings of my heart and soul
just the yearning that i can’t seem to move away
its so tiring but its what keeps me going day to day
….because i know i am happier amidst the pain
rather than live a life… and feel nothing again.
so my life, each and every moment we spend together
i hold them close to my heart forever…
i pray that somehow, i am so much stronger
now… until i can hold on much longer….
because i know our love will only be
the only love i will hold so deeply…
it will always be something that i will have with me
whether together or apart we are…
i know our hearts will never be far
…..and when you are longing for me too…
please know that i cry wishing for you
…if you may see me with a laugh and with a smile….
thats because try to make each moment worthwhile.
to have found each other… we are more than blessed
and that we are put to test…
i love you and you will always be my one true love
let that be the strength ….the only one i would have
our hearts will always know where to go…
our soul will always know what to do….
for me to defy and to keep the fight for you….
i love you so much…