Its been a long time sincee i posted… theres been so many changes that i dont even know where to start. Truly, this is finding true love. Myself. Now, i am a recovering addict. It is that love…that true and … Continue reading
Dear sisters and brothers, I shall show you how to acquire, here and now, inner peace. My help is not advice. Mine is not the way to advise people what to do or what not to do. It is true that everyone is unselfish and liberal when it comes to giving advice and, unfortunately, I am no exception. Yet I fully agree with Chesterfield, who says, “Advice is seldom welcome and those who need it the most, like it the least.”
This world of ours has everything except one thing: peace. Everybody wants and needs peace, whether he be a child or an octogenarian. But the idea of peace is not the same for each individual. It sadly differs. A child’s idea of peace is to beat a drum. Beating a drum brings him joy, and this joy is his peace. An old man’s idea of peace is to sit…
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like little children …. innocent and pure
to be free …. and ever obscure
laughing and living life beautifully
so solemn and im serenity
that is life…. a piece of art
untamed… like my wild wild heart. Continue reading
its just not the same anymore…
the silence kills me to my very core
and i shake and i tremble like thunder
i miss you…
screams my heart with such fervor. Continue reading
♡ ♥ ♡
july 2014. ♡ ♥ ♡
The greatest thing you will ever do it to be true to yourself, by being your true self…
If someone does not like the real you, then it’s only their projection onto you – that they don’t love how they are because they don’t think who they are is worth being loved…
Ask them what is “right” about themselves…
We are so conditioned to look for what’s wrong that be totally miss the more important question which is what’s “right” about us…
Everything…. is what’s right about you…
See, feel or accept the truth of this…
Everything is right about them too…
Celebrate the uniqueness of accepting another so completely that they don’t have a choice but to see, feel or experience they own self worth and begin to know that they are amazing just as they are…
and know the real you is worth of being accepted…
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my heart aches so much not because of what you do not because of your love for all the female form…. not because you seem aloof not because of your friends… my heart aches so much because you smile because … Continue reading
i have come to realize and accept now that everything that ever happened to us is in preparation of our future… of what he has in store for us. it seems that no matter how we try to resist what is unfiamiliar the more it hits us on the face. we try to run away from the one thing we crave for. we try to overcome and turn our backs on the good things that we havent tried before. we only try to do things that we have tried before. we love but justify.that feelinga.based on ideals. but when something stirs up inside our core… we cringe. and we dont know what the hell to do.
but oh dear God… we dont question the situation… we just simply try to get on with our lives and run away and back towards our heart.
we try to let it go… we keep holding it back…like we are just waiting for the right moment until our hearts errupt like a volcano waiting for centuries to breathe the fire out. and there is no way ever of trying to put it out once it has errupted… and out of control it goes…
why do we fear so much from the truth? when in fact that truth is the only thing that would ever calm our restlessness and finally being able to find the peace we so long to have after the storm…. i would want to be that storm and calm… i want you to be my storm because only you have calmed me.
♡ ♥ ♡
Originally posted on The Space Between:
I never tell you how elegant I think you are. Your form of angles which ripple into the curves of your shoulders both excite and confound me. I will always wonder what you’re thinking,…
when you let me fill your empty walls…
you filled my empty heart
you have made me stand tall
and that made me make a new start
i saw myself as a human being
capable of love and believing
that walls need to crumble down
as my heart ends its frown.
i am not looking for something
but something stirred up inside me
maybe it would be worth trying
maybe i should just wait and see.
you had the key ….so unexpectedly
my walls fell down the ground
like a crashing tidal wave
the fortress i thought
i would bring to my grave
the walls i have long fought.
left me yearning to love you more
and the fear of loving you
has brought me up and back to the floor
as i reach for the pieces
of the walls you let fall
to let me in… inside your heart
inside your mind… body and soul.
only i can light my fire. and only you can fan my flame. and maybe…stir up a little desire and play a little game
i never allow a person
to ever get near me
and see the tears go on
an on and on freely.
i can feel. i can love
but i remain cold out and above
beneath the ice though
is a fire that only i know.
i can conceal
and never reveal
wouldnt even dare
take off my mask
and let them know i care.
the paint brush would swoop
colors in circles and a loop
paint my smile and my joy
blissfully like a child with a new toy.
the pen flows freely on a pad
when the tears fall and i feel sad
but then…only a few would ever know
what goes on inside me….
and so i put on a great show
of strength and bravery.
no i am not tamed….
but i learned to train
my darkness and turned it into light
and vowed to radiate so bright.
no. i cannot be tamed at all
but you can ride with me and take a fall
….i only promise you i would be there
always…. if you dare.
its the life that i have come to love
freely…openly…. sent from above
it is the only life that is worth the ride
with only my heart as a guide.
and your beautiful restless soul as our compass
live each day like it was the last….
if you take all of me….
my darkness and light….
my unconquerable soul…
and my inner child
come away with me….
where we can both run free and wild.
♡ ♥ ♡
life is at its best when we have pushed ourselves past its limits and endure whatever it throws our way… our need to find stability and security is a trap because once we have finally found it… deep in our hearts…we all crave to be free. To be like a child… to be passionate and innocent.. Continue reading
This gallery contains 19 photos.
practice sketches. Week 3. ♡ ♥ ♡
“You can go on fighting with this darkness your whole life and you will not succeed, but just a small candle is enough to dispel it. You have to work for the light because it is positive, existential; it exists … Continue reading
Im back… things havent been well lately and i only have my own art as comfort. I learned to sketch using charcoal and graphite when it was too much for me to bring my pastel around…. its been a week … Continue reading
POST WRITTEN BY: ANGEL CHERNOFF 50 Happiness Quotes to Change the Way You Think It usually isn’t what you have, where you are, or what you’ve been through that makes you happy or unhappy, it’s how you think about it … Continue reading
I went to hinobaan…thats a 5-6 hour drive from our city. I took the BUS…arrived at 12 midnight on the town… and when i fot there..it was full moon… i had to wait a couple minutes till my friends arrive…
It was the best vacation ive had in years.. for the past few years…ive started to have aversion to going to the beach… as it became a little tiring for me…
I grew up in a 3 minute drive to the beach… and my childhood memories is almost filled with the sand, sea and sun… so this is me… and my friends… reviving a little bit of our childhood…
Off to a small island across…
You are my serenity.
Fun fun fun
And the glorious sunset..
And the sangrias by the pool
Trying to pull off a jackie oh (no) with all the weight… 🙂
♡ ♥ ♡
I feel sorry for the times When you want to open up That loving me isnt such a crime But its your mind you cannot stop. And as you try to justify More than you should I am mystified Because … Continue reading
For the first time in years I am scared of solitude As i face my own fears I am soaked with my own tears. I have no escape From the harsh reality But all i can do is wait As … Continue reading
Where the smile used to be I cease to wonder in melancholy Where my heart was burning with fervent passion Now breaks in such fashion. Where i mask the tears with glitters And wear the freshness of a heart that … Continue reading
I never had a problem letting go
But now i seem to hold on
To what was never mine to start with
When i turned my back for so long.
And now i cant do anything right anymore
I keep holding on like waves washed ashore
I let myself believe that i was strong enough
To allow myself to face what i denied my heart
I thought running away would make me tough
In the end…i start falling apart.
Why i didnot see this coming i was blind
From the truth that i crushed and left behind
And now i am faced with this excruciating pain
That i allowed my heart to kiss in vain.
I flee in the past…and i ignored you to death
Not because i wanted to… but because i was too scared
And now as the wheels have turned
I scream your name and bared
My heart and my soul and all that i am
You were the one thing i ran away from
I fear so much inside each time we almost kissed
I fear so much…because of this…
You made me taste my own medicine
It is neither sweet and tasty…
Nothing in between
But the bitterness i detest willfully
Because of the yearning that you left me with
I cannot part all that you made me taste
And still i cannot bring myself to feel with haste.
Because i can never feel otherwise
Even if it may lead me to my own demise
I would still hold a special place for you
In the center of my heart…
Where the pain burned right through
From your heart to mine… and now i start
To think of you dearly and wistfully
I might shed a tear and still know
That what we could have been…
What i hold on to… i am finally letting go.
♡ ♥ ♡
wish that i could cry More than i am used to But my eyes are all dry From crying over you. I sit in silence as i Let thoughts of you linger Wondering how and why I could fall and … Continue reading
I cannot explain
How much pain
I feel inside my heart
Like its been ripped apart.
Thoughts of what couldve been
Hold me close in between
Cries of anguish and sorrow
From what we could be tomorrow
But you just stopped calling
And i couldnt stop myself from falling
Than i thought i ever could
And i never really understood
How i let my heart slip away
From something i ran away from
And then one day
What i fear…it has become.
I ran away because i got scared
From the beating of my heart
When you and i have shared
Silent moments right from the start
But we never had the perfect time
To commit the perfect crime
For fear that my heart would break
Because i cannot calculate
How much i would feel for you
I might give it all …and it is the wrong thing to do
And i was so right
But the day came and i could no longer fight
I was left without a choice
I had to take the leap
When i heard my own voice
That it may not be too steep.
Now left alone…
With the pain i have never known
The only constant reminder
Of the friendship that forever
Stained and betrayed my heart
When it hoped to start
To feel the love that you held back
To give you the love that
Only i can give…
Like a memory from a dream
That i have forseen
The pain i hold close like a second skin
Envelopes me with the memory
….as i remember all that couldve been.
♡ ♥ ♡
I find my own solace As i watch the rain fall from the skies Then i would be able to hide the trace As the tears fall from my eyes. ♡ ♥ ♡
I dont like what i see
When i look at myself straight in the eye
The fear and the uncertainty
Is something that i so defy.
For everything that i would give
Only to be able to re live
The life and zest that sparkled
and radiates to behold.
Fear is foreign to me
I loathe the days when i see
Fear masked with security
Creeping out of the black circle
Emptied and hallow unacceptable.
I worked so hard to be so fearless
And made sure i am to be harmless
But when things spiral down i recall
I cannot always be in full control.
So i sink back in and try to sulk
Drown all my sorrows and evoke
All the good possibilities i can hope.
For somewhere deep inside i know.
There is light behind each shadow
That i will come across today
This may or may never really stay.
So lost was i then . And i now feel
Like running around in circles that seem ureal
Like the air that i breath in
I wear the mask of strength like a second skin.
I may fool other people and they believe
I am to be strong and not grieve
But there are the very few
That i could never really lie to.
I may laugh and still be the same
Play along and cover the shame
That fear has caused me to hide
The light inside that never leave my side.
These few i hold close to my heart
Are the very ones who is very much a part
Of my soul and they give me strength
To endure anyting at any length.
I refuse to lean on to them
But there are times when i stem
Out of proportion and reveal
The fear that i think is never real.
I know this happens for a reason
Why i go thru what i have to
I may or may never be able to fathom
Its just really something that i must do.
So if you ever walk my path… and still see me smile
Dont let the curve fool you even for a little while
You will only see what i wanted to show everyone
But my eyes can only tell you the truth
…look into my eyes to see if the fear is gone.
Today i hope to start to say
Goodbye to a wonderful song
That only a heart can play
Because it got tired for so long.
The music would have been perfect
And there was nothing she could do
About the fright made you neglect
The heart that was meant to love and be true to you.
As much as she feels
She knew she should turn and walk her heels
A climb… in circles in a never ending slope
Right to the very last drop of her hope.
You threw away the the only key
To the castle i have yet to see
Burried somewhere…far down
Inside your heart and soul i wanted to drown.
But you always make sure to keep me afloat
And still rock the boat
I wish i would now be brave enough
To stop waiting for my other half.
If only i could… i would
Stop feeling this way…as i should
Because you would rather let me lie
To my heart… to my song…
Is like asking me to die all along.
My heart hears the music that you play
But the words never found their way
To sing the song you refuse to sing
And so my heart ends up breaking.
Silence. And then i hear you
The air around us whispered too
The fear unfathomble envelops me
Like a second skin… i dont know where to begin.
To say goodbye… to turn my back again
On the song i have hoped to find
To forget that the music inside your heart
Has come to an end before we can even start.
My heart song will always be yours
The way you never say yours will be
Had you wanted to…
possess me or box me
….in heartbeat… that would be worth it.
Maybe one day soon…
Or the next full moon…
We may not fear as much as we do today
Maybe… we can make music again…
Always here. With uncried tears
That rip off the notes of an unsung melody
Like a key ….perfectly matched
To be able to love so openly.
♡ ♥ ♡